Konoha Kung Fu
by Renatus
Summary: May include: ninja-violence, swearing, disregard for rules, Uzumaki progeny, general mayhem and the occasional bits of torture or romance. A Naruto fanfiction Miscellany.
1. Konoha KungFu: Career Change

**Disclaimer:** About 90 percent not mine… the other 10 percent I'm holding hostage.

**Prompt:** Why would a teacher contemplate a change in career?

**Warnings:** mention of harsh interrogation, growing insanity, and Naruto's mouth.

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**Konoha Kung Fu – Career Change**

By Renatus

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Umino Iruka escaped Konoha's Shinobi Hospital on a sunny day with a headache and enough raw material to feed his nightmares for months. He squinted up at the sun then pinched the bridge of his nose, hard. He had a headache bad enough to rival getting rolled over by an Akimichi, and the bright sunlight was only making him see dark spots dance in front of his vision. He squeezed his eyes shut behind his hand, trying to get Ibiki's scarred, semi-gleeful face out of his mind.

Seeing Morino Ibiki, Konoha's resident mental torture expert, so early in the morning (and the subsequent hours until afternoon) was always enough to give one a headache.

Iruka found himself to be no exception, much to his dismay.

Worse, the older man had been joined by his prodigy and torture-expert-in-training, Yamanaka Ino, though Iruka would strongly refute her status as being in training for anything in relation to torture, torments or generally making another suffer to any degree. That woman had been a subtle, mostly-hidden hellion when she was still in the Academy – he remembered.

And it was exactly his long term as a teacher of ninja-to-be that had landed him his award-winning headache in the first place.

Morino had said that it was her first psychological evaluation and he wanted to make sure that the girl had supervision so she wouldn't get carried away. Iruka (either bravely or stupidly) called him on the lie and was thus subjected to a half a day of the tag-teaming torment the two gleefully called a standard psych evaluation. They had run him through a gamut of probing and searching questions, tactics, and interrogation techniques (all without any _major_ physical harm) trying to figure out if he was sane enough to continue to teach at the Ninja Academy, and, in Iruka's opinion, try to ensure that he _wasn't_, just in case he was.

Iruka, at some point, figured out that Ibiki was highly doubtful of his sanity due to his unusually long tenure as an instructor – a sentiment that had been shared by most of Iruka's peers since he took the position over a decade ago and had never gone away (indeed, it had only increased as he kept his position through the years, bypassing promotions and other jobs because he _enjoyed_ teaching). The older man had finally taken it upon himself to give Iruka his yearly psych-eval himself, just to make sure the long-standing Academy instructor wasn't hiding something successfully from medics, interrogators and associates alike for years. After all, if anyone could get information out of some stubborn fool, it would be Morino Ibiki, even if that fool didn't know he was hiding anything at all.

Ino, however, was far more interested in his teaching abilities since her self proclaimed step children would be entering the Academy in the next week. Her motivations seemed far scarier to him than Morino's did, and somehow the concept of overly concerned and protective parents didn't quite match up to the female Yamanaka's intensity. He had known that parents got twitchy with their kids' growing up. He had dealt with more concerned and nervous parents over the years than he could count or even remember. Ninjas were no exception, they were just scarier and knew more successful methods of intimidation. Ino's reaction to 'her' kids joining the Academy, however, likely topped any other in his vast experience, and many of them combined.

After all, none except Ino had yet to kidnap him (successfully) and subject him to hours of torture in order to test his worthiness to teach their children the fine art of being a ninja.

Iruka was pretty sure that if he hadn't been mentally unstable before (which he was quite sure that he was _not_) than he most certainly was after that experience.

No matter his mental diagnosis by Konoha's Torture-Twosome, he had a bigger headache than he thought was possible.

A sharp sense of impending danger was all the warning he got before a large hand descended heavily enough on his shoulder to make his knees tremble. The motion jarred both his hand and his head, nearly making him poke himself in the eye, before he was able to fully compensate for the added weight and force of the blow.

"Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka groaned, locking his knees under the weight of the hand, and peered up at the taller man, squinting at the brightness of both the sun and the man's hair, then blinked at the wide grin, still seeing spots.

"Naruto," he greeted, taking in the blonde's height, and the broad shoulders. The blonde had grown incredibly in the last few years of his youth, shooting up past both Kakashi and Jiraiya in height by the time he turned eighteen. Iruka, not being the tallest ninja around, barely reached his once-student's nose. He remembered a time when the noisy blonde had been the shortest of his class, and not just of the guys. Now, he was the tallest of his peers, though both Shino and Neji were close in height, and Kiba had more breadth.

"Ossu, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said, giving him a bright smile. "What's happened to you? You look like you had a run in with Sakura or something."

Iruka frowned. "She only beats the pulp out of you, you know. She's a perfectly civil girl to anyone else."

"And Kakashi-sensei," Naruto countered easily, "since she got fast enough to catch him if he's off-guard and he's done something to annoy her enough to bother with the trouble of stalking him long enough to catch him off-guard."

Iruka's frown deepened and he returned his fingers to his forehead, hoping to quell the still throbbing headache his psych-eval had given him.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei, what's up with you, huh? Did Anko get hold of you again?"

"Psych-eval," he mumbled, ignoring the subject of Anko altogether. After a morning with the Torture-Twosome, he really didn't want to think about the blood crazy woman jumping him due to boredom or some twisted attempt to keep him on his toes. He felt Naruto guide him into walking, the other's hand still on his shoulder. He let the other man push him down the street, not particularly caring yet where the blonde was leading him.

"Yearly psych, huh?" the blonde talked as they walked, seemingly not caring a wit that Iruka wasn't joining into the one-sided conversation, or even responding at all save for the occasional meaningless grunt. "Ino mentioned something about those coming up this month. She was all excited about them for some reason. Can't imagine why, she's been forced into giving the damn exams for years and she's always bitched about them before."

Iruka grumbled under his breath, just _knowing_ that the woman had been excited at the prospect of doing _his_ evaluation, though Iruka was still somewhat sketchy on the why of it all. It seemed a bit over-board for a girl to be so protective of a couple of kids that weren't hers (by blood or marriage – though Iruka honestly had to acknowledge the 'yet' that was there).

"You know," the blonde continued, his energy transmuting itself into talking even as his body seemed relaxed and calm and continued to guide Iruka's headache-ridden self through Konoha's streets. "The twins are starting at the Academy this year. I think it's got Ino worked up a bit, she's all nervous or something. She shouldn't be really, they're good kids and they'll do great. She's made sure they're prepared, though they keep trying to skip out on some of her lessons. That pisses her off something terrible, believe it! You think Sakura's temper is bad, shit! She's got nothing on Ino when the twins manage to get one over on her."

Iruka grunted, trying to imagine the up coming terrors that where going to be invading his classroom in the form of Naruto's twin children. They were well known, even at their young age, and not just because of their father being the proclaimed next Kage. They had somewhere along the way picked up many of Naruto's youthful habits – mainly causing trouble, pranking the council, sneaking into ninja's homes or stalking the various ANBU who were too conceited to realize that a couple of _kids_ were trailing them back to the ANBU Headquarters. Stories of the young miscreants' exploits were quite popular, especially amongst those who knew their parents. And they would be joining the Academy – his class – in a week. His only consolation in the whole matter was that they weren't identical.

"Did I tell you their latest scrape?" Naruto asked, not actually stopping in his talking long enough for Iruka to reply – had he wanted to. Iruka simply continued to squeeze his eyes shut in the shade of his hand. He was pretty sure that his headache was getting worse.

"They somehow managed to infiltrate the Aburame compound and avoided getting their chakra sucked dry from all their bugs, which I have no idea how they did. I mean the Aburame have more creepy-crawlies than the Forest of Death. I have no idea what they were doing, but they claimed they were just visiting. Strange, I don't think they were actually invited. TenTen finally trapped them in a courtyard with razor wire and Shino actually dragged them in front of the Hokage requesting they be charged for breaking and entering a Clan Compound. Did you know how serious the consequences are for something like that? They thought he was damned serious too, and the old-hag Tsunade went along with the act the whole time."

Naruto stopped talking long enough to make Iruka sit down. Iruka finally took his hand away from his forehead in order to see where he had been led to, wondering if he really wanted to know, or cared. He was seated now on one of the stools at Ichiraku's, the savory smells of ramen wafting past him. The scent both soothed him for its familiar comfort and made his stomach roll slightly as it sparked his headache to throb.

"Come to think of it," Naruto continued, looking a bit thoughtful, as he took his own stool. "She almost had me convinced she was serious, too. I mean, Shino can lie through his teeth and you'd never know the difference, but I was pretty sure the Godaime had had a few drinks by that point. It _was_ mid afternoon. Her ability to keep her face straight after that kinda drink takes a dive."

Naruto illustrated said dive with a sharp gesture of his hand, ramming his fingertips into the counter with a muffled curse. The blonde countered the action by slamming his palm onto the counter with a resounding smack, the noise of which stabbed straight through Iruka's temples.

"Oi, Teuchi-san!" Naruto called, waving the chef over, "three miso ramen please!"

Naruto grinned at the older man, exchanging a few words of familiar greeting before the blonde turned his attention back to his old sensei.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei, you gonna be alright?"

Iruka took a deep breath and nodded, thinking that his headache might have died down a little, but it was rather hard to tell. It wasn't all that much better in the grander scheme of things.

"I'm fine," he said, slumping on his stool and letting his eyes drift half closed.

"That eval that bad?" Naruto asked, smiling crookedly.

Iruka debated, briefly – very briefly, informing the blonde that his girlfriend (and some days, not-girlfriend, depending on what stupidity Naruto had done against the woman) had decided to take his psych-eval herself, with the help of her sensei, but decided that he'd rather not risk her fury for informing Naruto of her over-protectiveness towards his twins. She had told him to keep it all 'hush-hush,' as they let him go, the threat to his evaluation scores (and likely future health as he slept) evident. No, he'd definitely not tell Naruto that Ino had been involved. Misdirection was in order, then.

"They're always rough," Iruka said, smiling weakly at the other man. "People always seem to think I'm crazy for willingly teaching at the Academy for so long."

Naruto laughed, his head tilting back slightly at the force of his mirth. "I don't know how you do it, Iruka-sensei," Naruto said, still grinning widely, "I was made a Jonin Instructor, and I think just my three Genin drove me fucking crazy. I can't imagine you having to deal with thirty of them every year."

Iruka frowned, a bit dismayed that even Naruto thought his mentality suspect.

"How long have you been doing that, anyways?" Naruto asked, dividing his attention between his sensei and the recently arrived bowls of ramen. Naruto immediately claimed two of them, sliding the third to sit under Iruka's nose where he leaned over the bar.

Iruka slid the bowl a few inches away from the edge, and just let the smell of the food sooth his head for a minute before answering.

"Over a decade," he said, fiddling with his chopsticks.

"Longer than that, isn't it?" Naruto said around his noodles. His voice was slightly affected by the food in his mouth, his tongue pushing against his cheek obviously, but the blonde spoke quite well considering he never really stopped eating in order to do so. Iruka had found the skill somewhat amusing and quite a bit impressive.

"It hasn't really been that long," Iruka hedged, thinking that to Naruto, it probably had been.

"Well, shit! You taught there the year I finally made Genin. I was twelve then."

Iruka nodded, knowing exactly where the conversation was going to end up. It had one inevitable conclusion and he could see it already. "But I had been teaching before that year," Iruka said.

"Oh? When did you start then?"

Iruka sighed, and figured that the revelation that was about to be made was a better one than the blonde figuring out Ino had put him through a 'psych-eval' that morning.

"Five years before that," Iruka said, watching the blonde figure out the numbers in his head. He needn't have bothered watching. Naruto spelled it out for him, actually stopping to eat this time.

"Five years? I would have been seven. I'm twenty-six. That was nineteen years ago! Iruka-sensei! You've been teaching at the Academy for nearly twenty years?"

Iruka groaned lowly and slid downward so that his head rested on the counter. The coolness of the bar helped sooth some of his headache. "This is my twentieth year."

Iruka was pretty sure that the world could count on one hand the amount of times that Uzumaki Naruto was rendered truly speechless. The silence from the blonde was impressive. He would have sworn that such a long period of not-talking was utterly impossible for the other man. Naruto certainly had never been so quiet in his classroom (unless the blonde was sleeping). It was somewhat unnerving and made Iruka more uncomfortable than he liked, considering he was a ninja, despite the years he'd spent teaching. He taught ninjas, it was more than enough to keep his skills sharp. Stray kunai, over-powered jutsus, trip wires and explosive tags set off accidentally – it was all enough to train for a war. Then there were the inevitable trouble-makers, at least one in every class, often more given the general nature of ninjas and the types of characters the profession lured in. Iruka fancied himself to be quite skilled for a Chunin. He _was_ one of the very few (often the only one) who could even catch Naruto anymore. That definitely counted for something. Naruto was set to be Hokage if he survived the occasional assassination attempt and the training by the Godaime.

"Twenty years!"

Iruka rolled his head on the counter enough to be able to look at the shell-shocked expression on the blonde next to him. His headache hadn't gone away, but the food had made it stop throbbing, and the shade of the ramen stand allowed his eyes to focus (mostly) without having spots dance in front of him. He wished he felt better so that he could enjoy the expression on Naruto's face more.

"Damn Iruka!" Naruto exclaimed, slapping the counter with his fist. The impact reverberated through Iruka's ears, making him suck in a sharp breath as the pounding started up again, beating from one side of his head to the other in rhythm with his heartbeat.

"Who did your psych-eval?" Naruto demanded, "they've seriously let you teach a bunch of brats for twenty fucking years? Are they nuts? Are you? Hasn't it driven you crazy? Damn! Three of them nearly drove me crazy and Kakashi swears to the moon that we drove him completely off his rocker before we even made Chunin."

Iruka groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose again, squeezing his eyes shut.

Maybe he _should_ consider a change of position. Someplace quieter. And darker. And far far away from the entirety of the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Department, but more specifically its Torture-Twosome. And on top of that, it would probably be a good idea to get away from Naruto's Twin-Terrors, too. They were sure to be worse than their father – there were two of them. Naruto had been bad enough, really, no matter how well he turned out once he grew up. If today was any indication to his twentieth year of teaching at the Ninja Academy he'd be lucky to be alive by the end of it, let alone survive with his mental faculties in tact.

He wondered if it was too late to ask Ibiki and Ino to mark his psych-eval as 'unsuitable for teaching children.' He was relatively confident that he could bribe them – torture in any form certainly wouldn't work on either of them. They'd likely laugh at any of his attempts and then give him a practical demonstration (which he would like to avoid at just about any cost).

Maybe he'd just run off and become a missing-nin. Then he wouldn't have to worry about the damned psych evaluation or Naruto's exclamations about telling _everyone_ exactly how many years he's been teaching (and how old that must make him) Konoha's craziest brats how to maim each other and sneak around while doing so.

Really, he must have gone insane years before now. Just, no one's ever noticed because it happened right at the beginning, or he had always been a bit mad. He must have been to take the job in the first place, or to even want to be a ninja. All ninja's were reported to have some mental issues, especially the longer they were in the profession. It was a standard assumption that all ANBU were nuts by the end of their first year and an unstable mind was practically a prerequisite to becoming a Jonin.

At least he'd be able to pass any mental evaluation part of the Jonin Tests should he decide to take them. They'd probably let him pass due to word of mouth alone. All of his peers had claimed him insane since he took the position as Academy Instructor, and none of them had ever made any secret of their opinion on his mental stability.

Iruka let out a long breath of air, sinking bonelessly across the counter of Ichiraku's. He desperately needed a vacation. He could probably put in a request for time off (or a position-change) before the day was out.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei," Naruto asked, leaning over him and jabbing a finger into his shoulder repeatedly. "Are you alright?"

That missing-nin idea was looking more and more enticing by the minute.

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**Author's Note:** lol. Poor Iruka.


	2. Konoha KungFu: 20 Rules

**Disclaimer:** About 90 percent not mine… the other 10 percent I'm holding hostage.

**Prompt:** List: 20 rules you've broken - Naruto

**Warnings:** ninja-violence, mention of perversion, and Naruto's blatant disregard for rules and regulations of any kind.

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**Konoha Kung Fu – 20 Broken Rules**

By Renatus

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1) A Shinobi must never show their emotions.

Naruto contended this rule in two major ways throughout the entirety of his life:

First, his reputation throughout the entire Five Great Shinobi Nations as being a ninja who wore his heart on his sleeve without restraint, hesitation or regret (and lived).

Second, the thrice-yearly self-given mission to break into the Konoha Academy and erase the rule from all of the Academy's teaching plans (which Iruka would then have to spend the time to fix).

2) Respect the Hokage Monument.

The first time Naruto defaced the Hokage Monument he was five years old.

The second time, he was twelve and did a much more satisfactory job of showing his displeasure for all things authority. He left the Yondaime's head untouched and paid special attention to the Third's.

At age sixteen when the Council debated giving him to Danzo's Root Division for re-training, he did it again, along with each of the council members' personal residences, just to make sure that they got his point. He had a lot of help in the form of most of the Konoha Twelve and their various friends.

They did it in broad daylight and no one stopped them.

When Tsunade heard about it she spent three hours laughing her ass off. She left him off of any punishment for it, and instead offered him free ramen meals for a month. Naruto didn't see her touch her sake for a week and she smirked every time she saw Danzo for nearly a year.

3) Hatake Kakashi is Konoha's Number One Perverted Jonin.

…until Uzumaki Naruto became a Jonin and trumped him on the technicality that Naruto hadn't yet been a Jonin to have claimed the title previously. After all, Kakashi's continuous reading of the Icha Icha series couldn't top Naruto's take over of the writing of said series' twice-yearly special volumes. Kakashi's devotion to the Icha Icha series merely went up several impossible notches when Jiraiya and Naruto began to trade off writing duties, and the masked Jonin was hard-pressed to say which author he preferred.

Or was more proud of.

No one who regularly read the series complained about the additional author, as they just got to read twice the amount of books that were previously published.

Hatake Kakashi was still Konoha's Number One Most Obvious Perverted Jonin (unless Jiraiya was in town, but Kakashi refused to relinquish his title on the basis that Jiraiya was a Sennin, and therefore, no longer a Jonin). Uzumaki Naruto had a healthier sense of survival than either of his white-haired teachers and was far more cautious about where he both wrote and read the conspicuous orange-bound books.

He also had a significant other who was a part of the female side of the population and was capable of making his life something akin to hell. Kakashi, Naruto knew, didn't mind passing out on his couch when the man was too lazy to walk the few meters to his bed, but Naruto much preferred the shared warmth of his bed over the lonely, lumpy cushions of his old couch.

4) Fox-brats are not allowed within Tachibana's.

Uzumaki Naruto learned this at the tender age of six. Tachibana's was the covered market that stretched across three wide, alleys near the center of Konoha, and was piled high with local Fire-grown produce, hand-made wares and fresh sweet breads. It was overseen by the rotund Tachibana Eiji, who had sharper eyes than most ANBU and a severe dislike for the village's resident Jinchuriki. Naruto never did learn why the hawk-eyed man didn't like him, but Naruto found great pleasure in sneaking into the market whenever Tachibana's guard went down.

Naruto thoroughly enjoyed this game for nearly a year, at which point Tachibana hired a Genin team to guard the entrances so he could deal with his paperwork without having to run the blonde kid off and Naruto had to revise his strategy for pissing the big man off.

Naruto let loose a horde of local rats in the middle of the market on a busy weekday morning.

The Genin team spent three days rounding them all up from the market area and releasing them into the village's surrounding forest.

Naruto went home with a basket full of filched sweet bread, a black eye and a newfound hate for all things produce.

Tachibana never hired a Genin team again.

5) Never, ever, challenge Mitarashi Anko to a duel.

An unspoken rule that is somehow well known to all Konoha Jonins, ANBU, Chunin and any Genin unfortunate enough to have come within a ten meter radius of the woman. Naruto got a sense of the rule during his first Chunin Exam. Though, after battling Orochimaru, Akatsuki and a host of other various sadistic ninja, Naruto didn't really remember the woman as being all that scary – just a little crazy.

Naruto was sixteen and still a Genin when he challenged Anko to a spar, under the pretenses of the woman having 'accidentally' upended his favorite ramen on his head after he called her The Crazy-Bitch within her hearing.

Naruto spent two weeks in the hospital, and it would have been two months, if not for his advanced healing rate and the unsuspecting new medic-nin who didn't see the ninja wire coming fast enough to stop his escape. Naruto heard that Sakura-chan had nearly beat the poor guy to a pulp for letting him go without being released. Naruto subsequently spent the two months he was supposed to be in the hospital hiding from the pink-haired demon before she caught him at Ichiraku's and gave him a suitable reason to return to Konoha's Intensive Care Ward.

6) Booby-trapping the Hokage's desk is not a sanctioned means to alleviate boredom.

…especially if it is before noon and the Hokage is one Tsunade of the Sennin after a night of more sake than is healthy for three bears and a nasty loosing streak in the local gambling house (which, Hokage or not, threw her out after she smashed their third cards table).

It took Naruto ten minutes to extricate himself from the wall, another five for his head to stop spinning and three minutes to make his way back through the three walls, two offices and one hallway he had been punched through, just in time to be bodily picked up and tossed out of the Hokage's window for a refresher course in How a Ninja Lands on his Feet after a four-story freefall.

7) Ninjutsu is not allowed during a game of Ninja-tag.

Akamaru (on his master's orders) attempted to sever his arm from his body after Naruto used Kage Bunshin to evade Kiba's attempts to tag him. Unfortunately for Akamaru, it was another Bunshin which upon dissipation warned the real Naruto that he would have to avoid the Inuzuka (and likely the rest of those in the game) for quite some time after being caught cheating.

Kiba argued that tagging a Bunshin was still a legitimate tag, especially since using Bunshins at all was cheating in a game where Ninjutsu was against the rules.

Naruto argued that a Shinobi's second most useful art was the art of cheating – second only to the art of successfully outrunning Iruka-sensei (which Naruto thought to be practically impossible, and a far more notable feat than outrunning both the Konoha Police and the ANBU – together).

8) Classified information should not be shared with new Genin.

Naruto had known the location of Konoha's Interrogation Department since he was seven when he gained the skills to trail one of the ANBU back to it. No one ever bothered to tell him, or make sure that he knew, that knowing the location of the Interrogation Department without proper security clearance or rank was not only frowned upon but illegal as well.

So when Naruto led his three Genin students on an infiltration training spree directly into the Department Headquarters building (when he still didn't have the proper clearance to even know of the building's existence let alone its location) he and his Genin got a first hand look at how Konoha interrogates spies and how easily it is for Morino Ibiki to make someone disappear. He also didn't expect to find himself in Konoha's Correctional Facility (note: jail) for a week on the charges of sharing sensitive information, breaking and entering and escaping Morino's most secure holding cell and then breaking his three miniature cohorts-in-training out with him.

At least Naruto learned the power of Icha Icha special editions as bribes to jail guards, and where Shikamaru spends three days out of every week on guard duty.

Afterwards, Morino Ibiki occasionally drafted Iruka-sensei to kidnap Naruto (as Iruka was still the only person in Konoha with the capability to do so) in order to lock the blonde in another cell just to see how long it would take the boy to get bored, break out of it and escape.

Naruto called him a sadistic bastard with a case of repressed incarceration tendencies.

Morino called it testing his security.

9) Ninja training is recommended to take place within a designated training area.

Naruto liked the Konoha training grounds well enough. He had many fond memories from Training Ground Seven as well as the Forest of Death and the abandoned warehouse outside the north wall that had been converted to an ANBU training ground complete with more booby-traps than the old Uchiha Mansion.

Despite his fondness for Konoha's various training grounds, he thought that some of the best training occurred in more real life situations and locations. Some of those locations included Konoha's Torture and Interrogation department, Konoha's Correctional Facility (which was particularly useful in teaching young Genin teams how to escape prisons and jails and generally deal with the whole in-prison thing), Tachibana's Market, Konoha's outer security wall and the Hokage Monument – among other equally public or restricted areas.

10) Unsuspecting Jonins are not acceptable target practice for new Genin teams (or Academy Students).

Naruto first learned this when he charged his young Genin team to trail Yamanaka Ino and gather any and all information they could on the woman. His team had been dragged back to him (where he was lounging in a tree in the training grounds reading the latest Icha Icha volume) by an irate blonde kunoichi with more than is healthy experience in interrogation. Both Naruto and his three Genins had spent the following three days in Konoha's General Hospital under Sakura's careful watch.

Naruto avoided Ino for three months before she cooled down enough for him to get within three blocks of her and close enough for him to try and make it up to her.

Naruto's second lesson with this rule was when he led his Genin's in an (he thought) ingenious training exercise wherein they attempted to infiltrate Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Department.

His third run-in with the rule involved the use of a dozen shock tags, smoke bombs, Kakashi's over-trapped apartment, five hours of surveillance, two minutes of fighting and about fifty yards of ninja wire. Their target, the perverted Jonin's entire collection of Icha Icha, was never even touched.

Naruto had been reminded why Kakashi had been a viable candidate of the Hokage position and why the man had gotten his own page in the Bingo Books before he was even an ANBU. Naruto also re-learned the effectiveness of the technique Kakashi called Konoha's Secret Technique: 1,000 Years of Pain.

His Genins never let him near ninja wire while they were around him again.

Kakashi told both Sakura and Ino who the second mysterious author of the Icha Icha series was. Naruto spent another three months avoiding both of the girls and Ichiraku's (because they knew exactly how to corner him there).

He never attempted to steal Kakashi's Icha Icha series again, but he did manage to booby-trap a large swath of area completely surrounding the man's apartment, which had trapped all of the man's neighbors, two rookie ANBU and Ichiraku's daughter Ayame (as she was sneaking out of his apartment early in the morning) – but not Kakashi.

11) Men are not allowed in the women's side of the onsen.

Naruto was quite sure that Jiraiya had never in his life heard of this rule, and the only reason the perverted hermit didn't spend his life in the women's side of the baths was because he wanted to keep his life at least mostly intact (at least long enough for Tsunade to come to her senses and fall madly and irreversibly in love with him). The second reason Jiraiya hadn't drowned amongst a female-filled hot bath was because the sennin could not do Naruto's signature Sexy Jutsu without looking like a frog with boobs and far too much hair, a disguise that couldn't get the man through the door, let alone in the water.

Naruto, however, spent countless hours soaking amidst the chatter of the village females under the disguise of being one of them, while his enhanced hearing picked up the low, perverted giggling of one or both of his sensei's through the fence behind him.

12) Sons take after their fathers.

It was an uncontested fact that the only things the Yondaime Hokage and his son had in common was the color of their hair and the flee on sight order issued by Iwagakure.

This fact didn't seem to bother Naruto much as he was absolutely enamored with the stories that Tsunade would tell about his mother's pranks against the entirety of Konoha's ninja population (including the hard-ass council members and advisors, and sometimes also Konoha's civilians) and especially the torture she put his father through during his three-year attempt at courtship to a woman who was smaller than Sakura and more scary.

13) The Konoha Memorial Cenotaph is reserved for the honor of Loyal Konoha Shinobi fallen in battle.

Naruto carved Sasuke's name into the stone himself, with his claws, the same as he had scratched out the Leaf symbol of Sasuke's hitai-ate when they were thirteen, the same as he had raked four long lines down the length of his friend's back when they were sixteen, and the same as he had put his fist through Sasuke's right lung when Orochimaru attacked Konoha from within the body of the Uchiha only a year after.

While Tsunade and Kakashi fought the freed Orochimaru, Naruto held Sasuke's convulsing body as Sakura poured her chakra into his lung. Sasuke's eyes stayed locked on his as the wound stitched closed and his breathing no longer included wet blood filling his lungs.

The quick healing lasted only long enough for Sasuke to step in between Naruto and Orochimaru's sword.

Orochimaru had better aim than Naruto did. The Snake Sennin didn't miss his heart.

Naruto lowered Sasuke's body to the ground, then he tore Orochimaru's snake body apart with the aid of four of the Kyubi's tails and Orochimaru's own sword.

When he heard Homura complaining about a traitor's name being undeserved on the memorial, Naruto carved the name once again – into the flesh of the man's arm.

Tsunade told him once that Homura's wound had never fully healed.

14) Ninja Rule Number 4: A Shinobi must always put the mission first.

Naruto was willing to follow the rule until the mission got in the way of his precious people; namely, their safety, which he would always put before any mission. He learned this during his Genin days and was willing to discard Ninja Rule Number 4 ever since.

15) The knowledge that the Kyubi was sealed inside Uzumake Naruto is an S-Class secret and anyone who knows the secret is forbidden to communicate it to anyone who does not.

Naruto told the entire group of the Rookie Nine, plus Team Gai and Sai when he was sixteen. This was shortly after Sasuke's death, and Naruto's unhidden use of the Kyubi shroud directly in front of Konoha's main gates. He told them before they even asked the question.

He later also told Konohamaru when the boy joined his ANBU squad.

Then he told all three of this children when they each earned their Hitai-ate.

When he was made Rokudaime, he eradicated the rule entirely.

16) Ninja Rule Number 25: A Shinobi must never show tears.

Naruto learned this rule very early in his life, though he had learned it as a Rule for Survival, rather than as a Ninja Rule, and he had adopted it more as an effort to thwart the collective village's views of him than anything else.

He went nearly eight years before he broke it when he was twelve and he stood before the bare-marked graves of Momochi Zabuza and Haku. He was never sure, but he suspected that he had broken it earlier on that mission – when he was still on the bridge and he had thought his best friend slash greatest rival had died for him. He still sees that moment as the first time he acknowledged that his precious people were more important than any rule, regulation or mission.

Naruto periodically broke the rule throughout the rest of his life. He didn't bother to hide his tears when Sasuke left Konoha or all three times he tried and failed to bring him back – as well as the fourth time that he didn't fail. He cried along with Sakura that time, their tears bittersweet as they carried their lost teammate's broken and lifeless body home.

His tears nearly blinded him when he carved Sasuke's name into the Cenotaph.

He didn't hide them when Gaara had died – or when the Kazekage had woke up again. Naruto didn't hide his tears when Jiraiya died. Nor when he finally realized that the old perverted hermit wasn't coming back. He cried every year on that day.

Naruto cried, too, when his first wife died bringing their twin children into the world. He remembered, through his tears, that her pale eyes were crying too, though she still smiled at him. Hinata had cradled his cheek in her weak hands – hands that were soft and gentle but held the power to kill or to heal with barely a touch. She had whispered that she loved him with her last breath. He cried for her often.

Naruto cried – out of joy and pride – when his twin children graduated from the Academy and received their Hitai-ate's. He cried enough for both him and their mother, whom he knew would be so proud of them. He didn't bother to hide those tears either.

He cried out of joy and sheer relief when his second wife birthed his third child, and didn't die from the strain like Hinata had (and like his own mother had). He named his second son Ikiiki, _full of life._ He had both his parents' blonde hair and blue eyes, his mother's temper and his father's exuberance.

Naruto hadn't followed Ninja Rule Number 25 since he was twelve.

He never told anyone else to follow it. He happily used Ninja Rule Number 25 as a prime example of rules that were made to be broken.

17) Mission reports are required to be handed in within 24 hours of a team's return to Konoha.

…which is probably why neither his peers, the Godaime, nor his Genins would allow Naruto to even get his hands on their mission reports.

18) Konoha Council members are to be treated with the respect they deserve.

Naruto, for the entirety of his life, stubbornly stated that this was one rule that he never broke.

Most others would claim that he never followed it.

19) Uzumaki Naruto is the Number One Most Surprising Ninja in Konoha.

When Naruto was promoted to Jonin he also gained the rank of Number One Most Surprising Ninja in the Five Shinobi Nations. His two-page spread in the Bingo Books (which he had had since he was fifteen) was even listed under that title, among many other, less flattering ones.

He always figured that it was his unrestrained penchant for breaking rules that gave him that title.

Few ever bothered to say otherwise.

20) Uzumaki Naruto would never make Hokage.

Naruto first began to break this oft-mentioned rule when he was eight and first declared that he was going to be the best Hokage that Konoha had ever seen – loudly and from the top of the Third's Head on the Hokage Monument right before two ANBU teams threatened to truss him up like a pig (whom he evaded just to be caught by Iruka-sensei who did truss him up like a pig).

Tsunade acknowledged his dream when he was thirteen and she placed the First Hokage's necklace around his neck. He promised her he would be Hokage long before he let the necklace's streak of bad luck kill him off. His luck was stronger than any piece of pretty stone anyways. Not to mention his stubbornness, which was arguably on par with the Kyubi's fury.

Naruto continued to wage war against the unspoken rule when Tsunade officially named him a contender to the position of Rokudaime when he was nineteen. Tsunade also named Hatake Kakashi as a contender (just to shut up the Council's objections against Naruto being an inappropriate choice). Naruto seriously considered assassinating him but decided that it wouldn't be good for his and Jiraiya's Icha Icha business to kill off their number one customer. Plus, he kinda liked Kakashi. Naruto didn't bother to take into consideration that Kakashi was a master at silent killing and that Naruto, himself, was incapable of any sort of silence whatsoever.

Sarutobi Konohamaru did not have Naruto's restraint. He ended up in the hospital under Sakura-chan's delicate care after Kakashi introduced the young teen to Konoha's 1,000 Years of Pain Technique when the boy attempted to stab him with a chopstick at Ichiraku's. Konohamaru was left sprawled in the street and accidentally swore in front of Kurenai, who was walking by and was severely displeased with his habit of swearing.

Naruto avoided her for a month, knowing that the red-eyed woman accurately pin-pointed her nephew's swearing knowledge to come solely from the resident hooligan. He was well aware that the woman was capable of trapping him in some sort of nightmare genjutsu for the sole reason of punishing him for giving Konohamaru a wider vocabulary in vulgarity than most ANBU operatives.

Naruto was twenty-two when he was officially named as the up-coming Rokudaime, and Tsunade began to hand her paperwork over to him with the excuse that he needed to learn how to be a Hokage by doing her work for her. Naruto made it a habit to leave at least five clones with her in the morning, as she had a habit of trying to punch him through a wall whenever he made a mistake. If the five clones ran out before noon, Naruto would take his young Genin team and disappear, no matter at what point in a mission or training they were in, as the Godaime hated being stuck with all the paperwork because her temper got the better of her and she had just pummeled the last of her Naruto clones drafted into slavery for the day.

Uzumkai Naruto took his place as the Rokudaime Hokage when he was twenty-eight.

Naruto stood atop the head of the Fourth on the Hokage Monument and yelled his accomplishment loud enough for the gate guards at the far end of the village to hear him.

No one threatened to tie him up for it.

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**A/N:** Inspired in part by _H.E. Gray_'s story, Things Team Nineteen are No Longer Allowed to Do. Also _Kraken's Ghosts_' story, Twenty Matters of Pride to Hyuuga Neji.

They are in my favorites list. Fun stuff.


	3. Konoha KungFu: Blind

**Prompt:** In a room full of people, you're the only blind one. Describe the people.

**Warnings:** gambling, bad flirting (some good), and sappy romance.

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**Konoha Kung Fu – Blind**

By Renatus

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"Tell me what you sense." It was a command, of that he had no doubt, but it was draped with the congenial tones of one simply making conversation. Her hand was resting on his forearm, her arm laced with his in a parody of him escorting her, while she was really guiding him. She did it well – the imitation of being led like some lady on a Lord's arm, her body just barely behind his, her arm and hands loose in their hold, not holding him but letting his body lead her as they walked into the room.

He and she knew better, however, no matter how much they looked like a proper couple, he could barely make his way through the village without stubbing his toe (or on one embarrassing, never-mentioned or admitted to occasion, his nose on some object he had never managed to identify). Her fingers, while resting softly on his arm, sent little shocks of chakra through his skin, telling him what objects were in his path, which way to turn, how high to step.

He let her guide him in his blindness, and she let the world see that she wasn't.

"Itachi," she said, her voice soft but her tone stern. She wanted him to describe to her what he sensed – what he _saw_ despite his lack of vision. The shadowed darkness of his world left him barely able to see anything, nothing more than dark shadows in an even darker landscape with the occasional flare of light or color if it was strong enough.

But he was a Shinobi, no matter the state of his eyesight. There were other ways of seeing.

"It's an apartment, outside the Market District," he answered, he could still smell the food stands two streets over, the scent carried in through the open windows on the breeze. It was a decent sized apartment, sounds carried a fair distance, giving him an idea of how far the walls were from him, but he felt closed in anyways – it was crowded. The amount of people in the room closed in the apartment, making things loud and claustrophobic and warm, warmer than the summer heat outside despite the opened windows. A dozen or more voices floated around him, sounding loud to his sensitive ears.

"A party," he said, not sneering but letting his disapproval color his voice. And if she had brought him here, than he knew who the others likely were to be: her peers and friends and co-workers.

"Yes," she said, her smile evident in her voice. "It's not too often that we're all in the village at the same time. It's cause for a celebration!"

He did sneer then.

"None of that," she scolded, squeezing his arm enough for it to hurt. "Now, tell me who's here. I want you to identify everyone in the room. And you get bonus points if you can tell me accurately what they are doing."

Itachi didn't immediately respond, debating with himself whether or not he wanted to follow her command or take his chances with jumping out one of the windows to get away from her. He wasn't confident, though, that she wouldn't chase after him just to drag him (likely literally) back into the party. She'd probably drop the act of him escorting her too, just to spite him and make him even more uncomfortable. Going along with her demands seemed the less painful route.

He wondered, briefly, what any 'bonus points' he gained would earn him at the end of her game.

He turned his head slightly towards her, fancying that he caught a flash of pink or red across his limited vision as his unseeing eyes stared at her. He could sense her impatience, but she wasn't fidgeting, though he wouldn't put it past her to be glaring. He could also feel the warmth of her body, brushing closely against his own, her arm still twined with his. Her chakra was tickling just under her fingertips, ready to give him signals should it be necessary. It made the hairs on his arm stand on end, the feeling of her chakra so close to his skin.

"Naruto is in the kitchen," he said finally, his face still turned towards where he knew hers to be. "It's to my left through the doorway. He's making ramen. The Hyuga Heiress is with him and he's doing a piss-poor job of flirting with her."

Sakura laughed lightly under her breath, the sound easy on his ears amidst the loudness of the crowd around them. She did that lately; kept her voice low when she was close to him, knowing that he could hear more than most people, and that her voice, if loud, grated on both his eardrums and his nerves.

"They've been dating for a year now," she said, the direction of her voice telling him that she was looking past him, under his chin towards the objects of their discussion. "He doesn't have to try and impress her anyways. She's easily impressed by him no matter what he does. I swear, he could throw mud at the Hokage and she'd think up some reason to be enthralled by it."

"Hasn't he already done so?"

"Thrown mud at Tsunade? No," she was grinning, he could tell. "That was me."

He raised one eyebrow, not verbalizing the question that was obvious, but she didn't indulge him, for once remaining silent instead of babbling away at something. She tapped her chakra-heavy fingers against his arm, not a signal, but to get his attention.

"Who else?" she asked, shifting next to him so that he felt her hips brush his upper thigh.

Itachi listened, cataloguing sounds and sorting through voices, trying to identify those that were familiar and those that weren't. Naruto was easy, his voice was loud and distinctive and he had a speech pattern that made him stand out from most others around him. And he'd know the blonde's voice just about anywhere, almost as much as he'd recognize the girl's voice next to him.

"The young Inuzuka and Aburame are in the corner behind my left shoulder," Itachi said, speaking so only the girl next to him would hear him. "They are discussing Naruto and the Hyuga Heiress' relationship."

She agreed with him, turning her head to peer around his shoulders in order to confirm the two boys' locations.

"Who is with them?" she asked.

Itachi let his head tilt slightly to one side, listening as well as feeling, trying to sense their chakra. The other's voice wasn't hard to catch, and while it sounded vaguely familiar in a distant sort of way, Itachi didn't know the man.

"I do not know," he confessed, "a male, older than them, but not much more mature. He's cocky and has something in his mouth that he talks around."

Her laugh was a bit louder this time, richer. "Shiranui Genma," she informed him. "Do you not know him?"

"No."

"Alright, I'll give it to you since you nailed his personality so well. Now who else?"

"Maito Gai is challenging Hatake to some sort of duel," Itachi said, sounding bored, "Hatake is ignoring him and reading his book."

"How do you know he's reading?"

Itachi turned his head back towards her and simply raised a brow at her again. She huffed at his response.

"Oh fine. It's not like he does anything else," she said. "Now c'mon. Impress me. Those were the easy ones."

Itachi resisted sighing at her persistence, but he had months ago become somewhat impressed with that quality in the girl. Throughout his long weeks of healing and rehabilitation (none of it much improved with the continued trips into Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Headquarters and visits by Intelligence) she had persistently forced, bribed, threatened and wheedled him into her version of vision-therapy. Despite his debilitating disease having been cured, his Sharingan had wrecked its toll. His vision was gone from him. He had thought his life as a Shinobi gone with it.

She insisted that wasn't the case.

It took her weeks to wear down his resolve enough to trick him into letting her try her idea of therapy. That she managed to trick him in the first place impressed him enough to go along with her idea for a while. He suspected he had done so simply to get her to shut up, but he would never go so far as to say such a thing to her. She had been confident that he would be able to overcome his impairment and still be an effective Shinobi.

He wasn't too prideful to acknowledge that her confidence in him was far greater than his own.

He was also slowly beginning to see that she had been right. He'd never be able to match the level of excellence that he once had, but he would come close; close enough that few would realize the difference. Her many and varied training games – like the one he was currently roped into – were remarkably helpful, despite their usual level of annoyance.

"Itachi," she called, snapping her fingers over his arm, "quite spacing and get to work."

He wondered when she started being able to tell when he wasn't paying attention to what he was supposed to be. He _knew_ that his face gave little to nothing away that he had been thinking of anything other than what was around him. She had been able to read him better than most from the beginning, and her skills in reading him had only increased over the course of the past few months of his healing and re-introduction to the village.

"You've got seven of them," she continued, not letting his thoughts wander far again, "there's eight more."

"Nine," he countered.

"Eh?"

"The Nara is hiding in the coat closet."

"What?"

Her arm slipped out of his, then, and he let her go, turning his body around as she walked past him. He could hear her footsteps, the heels of her sandals clicking subtly against the floor as she walked towards the closet back by the door. The closet door clicked open, it's hinges oiled to silence.

She clicked her tongue in disappointment before speaking, louder than the voice she used with him. "Shikamaru! What the hell are you doing in the closet?"

"Hiding." The voice was slightly muffled and laced with resignation. "Or at least I was."

"Hiding? What from?"

"Who," the Nara corrected, pushing her back so he could step out of the closet. "Not what."

"Who?"

"Yes, who."

"No," she demanded, "who are you hiding from?"

"The same person I'm always hiding from," the Nara said.

She was silent for a minute, and Itachi could almost feel her rising amusement. It wasn't that he could really feel her emotions, but he knew her now well enough to know that she would be amused.

"You're hiding from Ino?" She was laughing under her breath even as she talked, her mirth obvious even to his blindness. "Whatever for?"

"I missed training this morning," Nara grumbled.

"Yeah, but Tsunade gave you a mission, that's not really skipping."

Itachi could here the boy's clothing rustle, indicating something like a shrug or just a shifting of position. The boy didn't seem inclined to respond to her comment about him having a mission, and Itachi was pretty sure he felt eyes on him. It wasn't like most of those in the room didn't know him. Past his reputation and well-known 'history,' she had dragged him around and introduced him to most of her friends and associates over the last weeks and he figured they had seen him enough now to get used to the idea of him being around.

Though perhaps they weren't quite used to him being at their gatherings.

"Shikamaru!" It was a girl's voice, demanding and laced with threat, calling from the other side of the room. The Yamanaka girl, if he wasn't mistaken. "Get your ass over here and let me beat you at dice for skiving out of training this morning!"

"Next time," the Nara grumbled, "just let me hide, would you?"

Itachi heard the boy walk away and didn't respond, not sure if the boy had been directing the comment to him or her. He figured it was likely both, but he had nothing to say in response to Nara anyways, so it didn't matter.

"Alright Itachi," she said, gripping his upper arm, "stop stalling and tell me everyone who's here."

"Patience." He pulled her hand away from his bicep, threading her arm back through his and pulling her closer to him again. She let her hand curl loosely over the top of his wrist; a now familiar position for them. He led her across the room, around the five ninja playing dice, and skirting the scattered furniture – actually leading her instead of her guiding him subtly from his side. She let him without any resistance, despite him having not done so before. He led her out onto the small balcony, sliding the glass door shut behind them and blocking out most of the sound of the small crowd in the apartment.

"Itachi," she started and stopped when he raised a finger to hover in front of her lips. He didn't actually touch her, not knowing exactly where her face was, but the message was clear regardless.

"I already know who's in the apartment, Sakura," he said softly. Her breath changed slightly, shortly, a half a gasp of sound that wasn't really more than a sharper intake of breath than normal. He knew it was from him using her name. He rarely did so, even in his own mind. On the very rare occasions that he called her by name he had so far only called her Haruno-san, a sign of his respect for her; respect he had not been able to deny her as she worked to heal the lungs and eyes of a missing-nin (no matter his acceptance back into the village). It was a level of respect that did not waver even when both she and her mentor failed to heal his blindness. She had months ago given him permission to call her by name, but he never had, for reasons that he mostly tied to tradition and respect and he had always left it at that.

It was a most effective way of silencing her, however.

"I knew as soon as you confirmed that it was a party," he continued. "I knew then that they would be your friends, your peers. I could name them all if you want me to. You have introduced me to each one of them save Shiranui and the quiet little girl who was winning the dice game."

She chuckled, the sound deep and rich. "Hyuga Hanabi," she said, "Hinata's little sister. I think Naruto taught her how to cheat at dice, cause the guys claim she never loses and they have never managed to figure out how either she or Naruto cheats yet. You've no idea how jealous Tsunade is of both of their so-called luck at that game."

"Sakura."

It didn't work quite as well the second time as it had the first.

"It's about time you called me something other than Haruno-san," she scolded him, poking a finger at his chest as she did so. "You were beginning to make me feel old, calling me what most people call my mother. And I'm not old! I'm only eighteen."

Yes, only eighteen, and already one of the foremost Medi-nin in Konoha, a Jonin, and if he wasn't mistaken, ANBU as well, though she hid her status in the elite squad very well. She wasn't the only one of those at the party who were ANBU – few of them in that room were under twenty, and half a dozen of them were marked with the distinctive tattoo of the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad. He could tell them apart by the way they walked (silent), and moved (sure and deliberate, even as they feigned nonchalance). Naruto hid it better than anyone he had seen before, but Itachi _knew_ the blonde was ANBU, not just suspected it. And Sakura, while she hid the subtle markers of her ANBU training well, moved with the silent, deliberate grace of one of those elite Shinobi.

And she still found time to harass him into training his senses and body to overcome his blindness.

"Alright, fine," she said, leaning against the railing of the balcony next to him. "Game's over, you win. You've been holding out on me."

Her arm was still threaded through his, even as she leaned her hips against the rail. It made her even shorter than was typical, and he could almost feel the warmth of her breath ghost over his bicep, but it could have been the summer wind.

"A ninja never gives away too much," he said, tracing a finger over her shoulder where he suspected the ANBU tattoo to be branded. She stiffened slightly at the touch, and he knew for sure that she was ANBU. He wondered how long she had been one.

"Tricky bastard, aren't you?" She grumbled. But he could hear her smile and sense her teasing.

He hummed lowly in his throat in response, not bothering to voice words.

"You sound like your brother when you do that," she informed him. "Sasuke used to make the same sound. I figured he was just too good to talk to the rest of us, but Naruto always claimed that he had –"

Her lips were soft, pliant, warm against his own. She tensed at the action, her fingers curling into his arm hard enough to bruise, but he didn't pull away, pressing into the kiss insistently, but not forcing. A soft sigh escaped her and her body relaxed and Itachi deepened the kiss. She responded, then and he ran the tip of his tongue along her bottom lip once before withdrawing.

It was a much better way of silencing her than simply saying her name. It was an effective and pleasant tactic, he thought.

Her continued silence and tight grip on his arm was somewhat telling, and Itachi had the sudden urge to repeat the action. Her breath was hot where it brushed over his chin, and he could faintly hear her heartbeat – a little faster than it was normally. The feel of her chakra gathered in her fingertips tickled against his arm in little volts. Still she remained silent, apparently struck speechless, a feat Itachi had long been doubtful was possible.

He wished he could see her face.

oooOoooOoooOooo

**Author's Note:** you know, that was the first kiss scene I think I've ever written… huh.


	4. Will of Fire 01

**Summary:** A new generation of Konoha's Genin; twelve new rookies, and among them is Konoha's youngest Jinchuriki and Uchiha prodigy, high targets for anyone searching for the power of the Bijuu.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and etc. aren't mine; this is a piece of fan-based fiction made solely for the fun of it, and because I enjoy taking pre-established characters and worlds to use for piddling with my writing style and indulging my imagination.

oooOoooOoooOooo

**The Will of Fire 01 – Prologue**

By Renatus

oooOoooOoooOooo

Uzumaki Naruto stood defiantly before the council, their numbers still sparse after the recent civil war but no less strong than they have been. Among them sat faces that he knew, friends, and a few he would be more inclined to call enemies than allies, older members who had never trusted him, or the seals. All of them looked at him as if he were demanding the moon rather than the acceptance of the three persons that stood behind him.

"You wish us to accept these three into Konoha," one of the councilors said, gesturing at the three behind him, "Two of them are labeled as missing-nin!"

"Yes," Naruto said, "by this council."

The councilor – Naruto did not know his name – let out a frustrated sound and gestured jerkily in his direction. "He willingly abandoned Konoha to join with Orochimaru! Do you honestly expect us to just let him back here without some kind of consequence?"

"They came back willingly," Naruto said, his voice tight. All he wanted to do was yell, but he knew it would do him little good. He had learned that with Danzo.

"And for what purpose?" Inoici asked. He hadn't taken his eyes off the three behind him, though Naruto suspected that the blonde man wasn't worried about one of them. The other two, however, Naruto did not blame the Council for their mistrust, not completely.

"This is my home." The voice was deep and controlled and Naruto turned slightly at the sound. Sasuke stood behind him, just to his right, dressed in blacks and greys and white with a thick rope looped around his waist that did little to help him separate his image from that of Orochimaru. His face was as unreadable as ever, though his dark eyes flickered once to Naruto then back to the council. He didn't say any more.

Naruto frowned and turned further to look at the three standing behind him. Sasuke on one end, the young child on the other – barely over two and clinging to the third; Itachi. The elder Uchiha was dressed simply in black slacks and a long-sleeved shirt that had a wide, zippered collar. His hair was long and tied behind his neck, and he held his eyes closed. The child, a girl, had long platinum hair and mismatched eyes, one blue, one gold. None of the three had a hitai-ate on.

"Uzumaki Naruto," an old councilman said, standing. "You ask for us to accept back into our ranks two marked missing-nin. You have brought to us evidence of their – loyalty. After some discussion, we have come to a conclusion and decided on appropriate consequences for the two Uchiha. We will accept them, under one condition."

"Name it," Naruto said sharply. Sasuke groaned softly behind him.

"You will share their consequences."

Naruto blinked. "What?"

"Naruto, don't," Sasuke started, Naruto sent him a glare, and Sasuke grit his teeth in irritation, but remained silent.

"You will share their consequences," the councilman said again.

Naruto didn't hesitate a second time. "Yes."

"Very well," the councilman said, and Naruto could almost taste the man's glee at his acceptance. "Here are their punishments and conditions."

Hyuga Hiashi stood, then and looked at them with a small frown, the man's light eyes narrowed. "Uchiha Itachi, due to the orders given by Konoha's council to eliminate the Uchiha clan, your involvement in that incident will not be held against you. However, your seeming abandonment of Konoha and joining of Akatsuki has left doubt in your loyalty since no evidence of a mission was left behind. Therefore you will serve two years in Konoha's Correctional Facility, after which you will be under a probationary period of another three years. During those five years you will wear a Chakra Suppressor Seal and will be restricted to within the village of Konoha. Your status as ANBU will be revoked and your rank will not pass that of Special Jonin. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Hyuga-san," Itachi said.

"Also, an additional guardian will be chosen for the child," Hiashi said, his voice a bit softer. Itachi frowned subtly but nodded.

"Uchiha Sasuke," Hiashi said, turning his attention to the younger of the two brothers. Naruto could see a hardness in his eyes when he looked at him that hadn't been there when he regarded Itachi. "You abandoned Konoha, joined with the missing-nin Orochimaru and aided Akatsuki. You will serve three years in Konoha's Correctional Facility, after which you will be under a probationary period of another three years. During those six years you will wear a Chakra Suppressor Seal and will be restricted to within the village of Konoha. You will be held to the rank of Genin until after your probationary period is complete. Your rank will not pass that of Special Jonin. Do you understand?"

"Hai."

"Good," Hiashi said with a sharp nod at him. He turned to look at Naruto and gave a soft sigh.

"Just give it to me, Hiashi-san," Naruto said with a cheeky smile. "I agreed."

"Yes," he said. "Fine. Uzumaki Naruto. You've brought them before the council and petitioned for their acceptance into Konoha. As agreed, you will share their consequences." Hiashi paused and sent a disapproving look over the council before frowning at Naruto. "You will be held responsible for the actions of Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke for the duration of their probationary period. You will be restricted to within the borders of Fire Country and your rank will not exceed that of Special Jonin until that period of time is complete, that is six years. Do you understand?"

"Hyuga-san, that's not –" the councilman started.

"He is a loyal Shinobi of Konoha," Hiashi said.

"He agreed," the councilman said. "He will share their punishments fully."

"And he is."

The councilman scowled sitting stiffly in his seat. "Give him the full –"

"Tsunade would never –"

"Tsunade is in the hospital!" the councilman hissed. "And is in no position to lead this village!"

"And would you like to be the one to face her and tell her that you chained Uzumaki Naruto to Chunin rank because he brought to our attention the callousness of this very council?" Hiashi stared the older man down.

"He is bringing outsiders into this village –"

"They are Uchiha, and a part of this village," Hiashi said.

The councilman stood, slamming one hand onto the table in front of him and throwing a finger in the direction of the Uchihas, "that child is a Jinchuriki!" he hissed.

So that was it. Naruto grit his teeth. "As am I," he said shortly.

The councilman sneered at him. "All the more reason not to trust either of you. Hiashi, he will wear the Seal as will the child!"

Itachi sucked in a furious sound through his teeth, and Naruto growled lowly, the sound vibrating in the back of his throat. To put such a seal on a child –

"The Seal will severely hinder the growth of a child, are you insane?" Hiashi said, his voice slightly lower than usual, a testiment to the man's heavily restrained emotions. Naruto wasn't sure if it was because someone had argued so callously with the man, or if he was angry on Naruto's behalf. "And Naruto deserves neither imprisonment nor the Suppression Seal. Will you so seriously hinder the strength of one of our greatest Shinobi?"

"He agreed to the –"

"Enough!" Hiashi hissed. The Councilman shut his mouth with an audible click. Hiashi let out a short, annoyed sound and turned to regard Naruto, clearly dismissing the other. The councilman curled his lip in displeasure as he sat back in his seat but did not argue further. Naruto took a deep breath and forced his emotions to calm down. His anger was beginning to make the fox stir within him, and he did not want to lose control in front of the council.

"The Chakra Suppression Seal cannot safely be used on a Jinchuriki," Naruto said, gaining everyone's attention. "Jiraiya thought to use it once on me so that I could learn better chakra control, but it only represses my own chakra, not the Fox's. Over time – a short period of time – the Fox's chakra began to take over my own. If you would place that seal on any Jinchuriki, their Biju will begin to overwhelm the Host. It's not safe." Naruto glared at the councilman. "It's not just unsafe, it's stupid."

"And what of your control, Jinchuriki?" the councilman said, bristling. "We all know that it's weak at best."

Naruto didn't deny it. It was no secret that his seal was weakening, had been for a number of years, ever since Orochimaru and then Jiraiya had tampered with it. Its strength had been further compromised after Pein's invasion of Konoha three years ago and the cold war against Danzo had done little to help it.

"Jiraiya started the design for an additional seal after we discovered that the Yondaime's seal was weakening," Naruto started, "I'll be applying it sometime in the next week or two."

"An unfinished seal technique?" Inoichi asked, sitting forward in his seat.

"No, I finished it," Naruto said. His statement brought a strange silence to the room. Some of those on the council looked shocked, while others – mostly the Shinobi present that Naruto had fought beside before – were less surprised.

"You completed the Sixteen Points Seal?" Hiashi asked.

Naruto nodded at the Hyuga head. The man had helped him to understand something of the Hyuga's Sixty-Four Palms technique, which had been Jiraiya's stated inspiration for the seal that Naruto needed. Naruto had to understand the Hyuga technique in order to understand anything of the notes that his old mentor had left behind.

"And you're going to apply it?" Hiashi asked.

"Yes, soon," Naruto said. "Likely the sooner the better, actually. The Fox has been responding to almost any emotion rather than just my anger or frustration. The current chances of Kyubi breaking free or taking some kind of control is particularly high right now. I need to force myself to keep hold of my emotions until I can apply the new seal."

Hiashi nodded and gave a vaguely amused look to the councilman, who was staring at Naruto with something akin to horror. The councilman did not continue his argument against Naruto.

"Naruto," Inoichi said, his own amusement clear.

"Don't worry about it, Inoichi-san," Naruto cut him off. "I'll hold responsibility for all three of them."

Inoichi's left eye twitched. Naruto remained unapologetic.

"Very well," Hiashi said. "You will be named the child's secondary guardian and sponsor to join Konoha. As such you will be held responsible for the child until the point where she becomes an adult by civilian law or reaches the rank of Chunin." Hiashi paused. "Also, I will personally keep an eye on you until you can apply the new seal. That way, no one can argue that you are too much of a danger due to the Kyubi and your weak seal. Do you understand, Naruto?"

"Hai," Naruto said, satisfied.

Hiashi let out a breath and sat back into his seat. The council, as a whole, seemed quite pleased with themselves, as they filed out of the room. Some of them were resigned, but others were smugly satisfied. Naruto suspected that it had little to do with the Uchiha's and more to do with the restrictions they got to put on him, even if they didn't get all they wanted. The last two Uchihas were just a bonus compared to locking the Kyubi brat out of Jonin rank for seven years.

"Damnit, Naruto," Inoichi mumbled once most of the councilmembers had all gone. Left behind were a few of the shinobi, all of whom Naruto had at one point over the past couple years, fought beside, many of them the parents of his peers and friends. "They wanted to stack the restrictions and keep you as a Chunin for ten years. Ten years! And the Suppression seal. You pushed them too hard. They knew you would do almost anything."

"I know," Naruto said.

"If you knew, then why did you play into their hands?" Shikaku asked.

"They would have given them harsher punishments if they didn't get me in the deal as well," Naruto said, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the Uchihas behind him. "They're in and they can remain active, and I don't care if I'm stuck below Jonin rank for another seven years. I wouldn't have cared if it was twelve."

Inoichi blinked at him, the surprise on his face mirrored by most of the others.

"Idiot," Sasuke mumbled behind him.

"They'll count on one of the Uchiha to leave again," Shikaku said, ignoring the two behind Naruto. "They don't trust them. And the council will put any of their collective mistakes – anything that they can get away with – during their probationary years directly on your head."

Naruto shrugged, uncaring. He wasn't worried about the two Uchiha brothers. He didn't believe that either would leave Konoha again. And if they tried, he would drag either of them back before they got far out of the gates. And while being unable to make Jonin rank for another seven years rankled, he could handle the restriction. He got Sasuke back to Konoha, and two others with him. He thought it was worth it, even if most of his friends thought he was nuts.

"They're good ninja," Naruto said, not addressing the issue of both the Uchiha's pasts as missing-nin. "I doubt their mistakes will be anything worth worrying about."

"Damn," Shikaku said, slouching into his chair, the position reminiscent of his son. "Tsunade will not be pleased. You'll be stuck below Jonin rank until you're twenty-five, and the council won't allow you to advance further than that until that child makes Chunin. You could have been Hokage within the year."

Naruto glanced behind him in time to see Sasuke's vaguely wide eyes and Itachi's amused, closed-eyed, expression over the girl's head as he held her. The child had her limbs wrapped around him and her head curled under Itachi's chin, watching him curiously.

"That's alright," Naruto said, meeting the girl's mis-matched eyes, "I think it was worth it."

oooOoooOoooOooo


	5. Need to be Strong 01

**Author's Note:** Jah – not everything in this story is canon. So if that bugs the crap out of you, don't bug me about it.

**Warnings:** some swearing, death, and generally all ninja's proclivity to violence, bloodshed and sharp, pointy things.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto and etc. aren't mine; this is a piece of fan-based fiction made solely for the fun of it, and because I enjoy taking pre-established characters and worlds to use for piddling with my writing style and indulging my imagination.

oooOoooOoooOooo

**Need to be Strong 01**

By Renatus

oooOoooOoooOooo

It was midday when the bird flew over his head, gliding on the winds. It was a forest bird, not a desert one, which told him immediately from where it came. It circled his head once, not getting too close, but close enough that he couldn't miss its presence, before winging off back to the east and its home. Back to Konoha. Naruto narrowed one eye at it as it left, watching the clear patch of sky long after he could no longer see the bird.

Naruto crouched, his hand snaking to the ground between his knees and clutching at the sand and dirt beneath his fingers. He sniffed and turned his head, reading the scents on the wind. He sniffed again and caught the faint smell of old blood and sand and buried water.

Nothing unusual, nothing that needed his attention, and yet there was something else – something vaguely familiar, barely there on the edges of his senses that made him wary and careful. It was a distant, undeterminable smell, faint as if diluted either from distance or sand storms and he was unable to put a name or identity to the scent.

He looked out over the landscape, one eye held shut as he scanned the craggy trees and brush that clung to the sandy rock. It was a semi-barren region of land, situated between the countries of River and Wind, more a part of Wind than of River. The nearest point of civilization was the trade road three days north where a trading village spread across the river flats, and then the villages of Suna and Konoha, both two days steady travel away – steady ninja travel.

He rose, wrapping his scarf haphazardly around his head and face as the wind bit into his skin, carrying sand. He began to walk over the dry, hard ground, his strides sure and quiet as he traveled the land now so familiar to him.

He ignored the bird and what it meant.

Seven days later he received a second summoning from Konoha. This time they sent a messenger that they were sure would interact with him. Naruto smelled him long before any of his other senses picked him up. The wind was blowing from the north-east, carrying the messenger's sent with it. The light smell of trees and leaves clung to him, telling Naruto that he was from Konoha's forests. Naruto crouched in the shadow of a boulder, looking down at the barely-there trail that wound through the shallow valley below him. He could see him now, the tan traveling cloak billowing in the wind as the Konoha shinobi walked, pushing the fabric around his legs and disguising his clothing beneath.

_'A good choice,'_ Naruto thought, eyeing the long brown hair of one of the few men he trusted, _'Even if I can hide, A Hyuga's eyes will be able to still look for me.'_ The thought came with the feelings of both fondness and annoyance. Fondness for a choice well-picked which told him how well the Hokage knew him, and annoyance for the difficulty that would result due to the messenger's identity. Neji was a good tracker, and Naruto would be hard pressed to escape from him and the Hokage knew it. _'Damnit,' _he thought, though whether at Neji or the Hokage, he wasn't sure.

Naruto didn't move as he watched, debating his options for dealing with the unwanted messenger. The loose ends of his clothing ruffled slightly in the edges of the wind, and Naruto adjusted the thick strap that held the large scroll across his lower back. The wind shifted for a moment and Naruto caught the scent of something else.

He opened both eyes and scanned the opposite ridge line, his left eye seeing differently than his right. It was a subtle difference, a distortion of his sight that wasn't always discernable, but distinct all the same. His left eye focused at a different level, with a further and more narrow range of sight that when paired with his normal eye warped the edges of his vision. But he saw more and further with it than without.

A subtle shift of movement told him the position, the quick glint of the edge of metal in the sunlight told him that it was an enemy.

Naruto looked towards Neji. The man was closer now, his lavender-white eyes scanning the area around him carefully, almost casually. The Hyuga would not have been able to see the enemy nin on top of the ridge line from his position without his Byakugan.

Naruto cursed silently, looking back to the enemy, watching his movements with both eyes. The enemy moved quickly, his brown cloak a blur of dark color against the sand of the rocks as he sprinted down the valley towards Neji.

Naruto gauged his line of attack and then moved as well, disappearing from his hidden crouch behind the boulder. Naruto kept his fox eye on the enemy nin and his normal one on the ground, skipping over stones and cracks in the rocks with a swift ease. The enemy raised his weapon, a kunai, its edge glinted in the sun, and bore down on the Konoha messenger. Neji moved to defend himself, his sharp eyes catching the movement of the impending attack, and he fell into a crouched stance, his hands poised to defend and strike in return.

Naruto beat him to it.

He slid into the quickly narrowing space between Neji and the enemy and crouched low, sweeping his foot up in a sharp, quick thrust that caught the enemy square in the jaw and sent him flying backwards.

Naruto paused only a moment, following the enemy and pounced on him before his body even settled on the ground. He held a kunai to the man's throat a second later, his knees digging into his gut and thigh, the sharp edge of his blade drawing a drop of blood. The man froze beneath him, staring up at his eyes in a mixture of shock, fear and defiance. Naruto growled lowly in his throat, pressing the kunai tighter to his neck and watched in grim satisfaction as the defiance fled before the creeping shadow of fear.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, his voice low and tinged with a rough edge; partly from disuse, partly from the dry air of the desert, partly from something else entirely. Naruto took in the man's young appearance – not a child, but barely an adult – and the hitai-ate covering his forehead that marked him as one of Kumo's. _'What is Lightning Country doing here?'_

"You're a long way from home, Kumo-nin," Naruto commented, tracing the tip of his kunai over the man's pulse point, watching in somewhat detached interest as it fluttered under his blade. The man's scent wafted up strong and potent with his adrenaline, tinged with fear and a little bit of despair but still strong in courage. Something simmered unhappily in his gut.

The man shook his head slightly, his eyes never leaving Naruto's own.

"I won't repeat myself," Naruto said, narrowing his eyes.

"I won't talk," The man hissed, the defiance creeping back into his eyes. Naruto growled again, and suddenly stilled, his nostrils flaring as he picked up another scent. His eyes shot up to the hill above him, knowing that there was another, possibly two or three. A moment later they emerged, their shapes silhouetted slightly against the bright sky. Three of them.

"You can't win, Jinchuriki," the man beneath him ground out. "Not four on one. Not even you, demon fox!"

Naruto's response was swift. It was quick, efficient, as his blade moved from the man's throat and plunged deep into his chest to his heart. A satisfied rage rose from deep within him, bubbling under his skin with a nearly uncomfortable heat as the man's breath left him. Naruto's eyes remained on the three above him.

Neji made an annoyed sound. "Three on two," he said softly, confidently and with a hint of cold arrogance. Naruto could feel the subtle shifts of his chakra, Neji's annoyance leaking into the feel of his presence for Naruto to sense and taste. The Hyuga may not have spoken much, but he didn't like to be looked over as a non-threat. Few ninja appreciated such a thing, not when they were at the caliber that Neji was; not unless he was trying to be stealthy.

"Isn't it my job to protect _you_?" Neji asked.

Naruto looked at him from the corner of his eye. "No, it isn't."

Neji didn't respond, but Naruto caught a flash of emotion in the man's deceptively blank eyes.

"Neji," Naruto said softly, rising to his full height and pulling the scarf from his nose. Neji stepped up next to him, his eyes flickering to the body and then up to Naruto's face. The Hyuga, while tall and lithe, still wasn't as tall as Naruto's largely unnatural height. The blonde stood a hand taller than him with ease, and was broader in his shoulders as well. Naruto stood taller than most people, even in the ninja world. It was an ironic reversal from his childhood where he was the shortest of his peers.

"Hokage wants you," Neji said, his grey eyes moving to watch the enemy nin above them.

Naruto let out an annoyed sound from his throat. "I saw the bird."

"I know."

Naruto glanced at the man next to him and Neji met his gaze, the Hyuga's flickering between his two mis-matched eyes before turning back to the three on top of the hill. Naruto let his red, fox eye close, and he looked back to the enemy nin with a somewhat lazy, unimpressed expression.

"You think they're any better than this one was?" Naruto asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

Neji made a noncommittal noise, taking a step to the side to give their elbows a little more space. Naruto spun the bloodied kunai in his hand around his finger, feeling the rising aggression from their three enemies wash down the hillside. It fed the rage inside him, tickling through his skin and clothes, feeding the heat roiling at his center.

"Gaara will want one for questioning," Naruto commented absently.

"Byakugan," Neji whispered. Naruto smiled grimly at the man's response and crouched, the hem of his coat brushing the ground for a moment before he launched himself forward.

The fight was quick. The four had likely been Chunin, maybe one a Jonin. Naruto glanced at the glazed, dead eyes of the man at his feet. He had lasted longer than the others, and had managed to plunge a kunai deep into Naruto's shoulder – no mean feat. He had probably been the Jonin. Naruto reached up and grasped the handle of the blade, sucking in a deep breath and holding it as he pulled it out in a smooth, quick motion. He let out the air in his lungs with a shaky woosh, pressing the heel of his hand to the wound to staunch the flow of blood as it slowly began to heal itself. The heat boiling beneath his skin shifted and coalesced at the wound, audibly sizzling his blood as the fox's chakra healed him. A tingling spread out from the wound but faded shortly after. The wound would be gone by morning.

A wordless voice whispered in his head, dark and menacing, growling through him in a way that made it's intent clear even though he couldn't hear any words – a calling for blood and death and fire and fury. It was a rushing heat that stemmed from his gut and made his blood boil beneath his skin, made his breath smell faintly of fire and charcoal. Naruto largely ignored it all, content so long as the voice remained wordless, and the heat didn't burn his skin away from the inside.

Naruto stood and looked over at Neji. The man stood silently over the last of their enemies, his eyes gazing down at the nin blankly, almost considering. Naruto could see the gentle rise and fall of the enemy's chest, and knew he was alive.

"They weren't much better," Naruto commented, his voice laced with something dark, or heated. Neji looked up at him, his eyes narrowed slightly around his Byakugan. Naruto could not read him well, the icy, proud façade that Neji wore never seemed to crack or waver. Naruto relied on his other senses to gauge the Hyuga's emotions, though he could only sense them when they were strong enough to leak into the other man's chakra. Neji's emotions weren't very strong now, and Naruto was left wondering what the Hyuga was thinking, feeling as he looked up at him with his clan's bloodline.

Naruto wondered how much of the fox the Hyuga could see.

The wind shifted and kicked up the loose sand around them, pushing his scarf around his shoulders. Naruto whipped his head around, sniffing the wind and catching the scent of Kumo carried amongst the sand. He stood for some time, raking his eyes over the dirt and rocks of the area, long after the wind had turned again and he could no longer smell that scent. He was sure of what he had sensed. There was a fifth Kumo-nin still out there, just out of their immediate range, but close enough that they likely knew what had happened to the team. Naruto debated for only a moment going after them, but turned back to the three dead and their unconscious enemy instead.

"I'll take care of them," Naruto said, cleaning his blood from the blade of the kunai in his hand and slipping it into the space between his arm and the wrappings around it. The hard surface of the blade rested tightly, comfortably against his skin. He glanced at Neji, catching the fading lines of the Byakugan as the other man put up his own weapon, and watched over their live enemy. Naruto pushed his scarf back over his nose, leaned down and fisted his hands in the enemy's clothing. He'd leave the bodies buried in the sand for Gaara's Hunter-nins.

Naruto left the three dead buried and marked in the manner that Suna would know and find. He had the fourth thrown over his shoulder, the man's head hanging over his back. Naruto traveled swiftly, steadily, his long legs running over the sand and rock of Suna's landscape in an easy lopping action, his chakra channeling through his feet to steady his balance over the shifting of the sands. He could hear Neji's soft footfalls behind him, the Hyuga's breathing slightly more labored in the dry air than Naruto's own. He was used to the heat and the dryness and the sand. Konoha didn't have such environments, though Neji kept pace with him without complaint or delay, a testament to the man's strength and training.

They reached Suna after a day and a half, the village barely visible in the darkening of the desert's evening. Naruto slowed his run to a long-strided walk as he approached the gates. Neji slowed to walk beside him and Naruto glanced at the other man, sensing the weariness in his stance and the subtle way that the Hyuga's breath rolled in and out beneath the strips of cloth he had tied over his face in defense of the sand in the wind.

They were greeted at the gates by Kankuro and a man whose name Naruto could never remember, but knew was the head of Suna's Hunter-nins. The man spoke little, and disapproved of Naruto knowing so much of their procedures. Naruto in return didn't much appreciate the man, but did appreciate his skills in the desert. The man could likely track even Gaara, unless the Kazekage worked to erase his trail.

"Yo," Naruto greeted, dropping his burden at the feet of the two Sand nins. A small cloud of sand and dust rose in the air and Naruto held his breath as it settled. Kankuro looked from Naruto to the dropped ninja on the ground and back to Naruto.

"What's this?" he asked, his face twisting slightly beneath the white and violet face paint.

"He and his friends attacked me," Naruto said. "I think they were more interested in me than in Suna, but they were in Wind, so they're all yours."

Kankuro let out a guffaw, his white teeth showing stark against the dark paint on his face. "You get into more trouble down there in the wilds, than anyone else ever would," Kankuro said. Naruto narrowed his one open eye at him and scowled, not bothering to voice a response. He knew it was true.

The man next to him knelt down to inspect the enemy, his fingers tracing along the man's neck lightly before looking up at him.

"His friends?" he asked.

Naruto waved his hand vaguely back in the direction he had come from. "Marked for your hunters."

The man nodded and reached to pull the unconscious enemy from the ground. Naruto's senses tweaked suddenly, and the enemy shot to his feet, a kunai in his hand, shoving against the Suna-nin above him and sending the man sprawling back into Kankuro.

Naruto moved forward just as the Kumo-nin turned, kunai glinting in the sun wetly. The blade was raised to stab at him, but Naruto ignored it in favor of wrapping a large hand around the man's neck. The Kumo-nin struck quickly, stabbing from the side and aiming for Naruto's ribs and the heart behind them.

It never connected.

Naruto grabbed the man's other hand in his free one, squeezing tighter around his neck as he did so, and feeling satisfaction when a thread of desperation crept across the man's eyes. The smell of blood wafted across his nose and Naruto looked to his side, finding Neji standing close to him, their shoulders nearly touching. The Hyuga's hand was wrapped around the blade of the kunai that had been aimed for Naruto's side, stopping the blow barely an inch from the surface of his jacket. Neji's Byakugan wasn't activated, but his grey eyes bored sharply into those of the Kumo-nin Naruto held by the throat. Naruto recognized the look. It was the look that said that person was dead and Neji was letting them know it by his eyes alone.

"Shit!" Kankuro's voice called out. Naruto glanced over the Kumo-nin's shoulder to see the puppet master getting to his feet, scowling at both his comrade on the dirt next to him and at the Kumo-nin held by Naruto. "Damnit. He was awake?"

"Apparently," Naruto said, looking back at Neji's injured hand. It didn't appear to be a deep cut, and Naruto's nose attested to what he saw. Neji pulled away, taking the kunai with him. As soon as the weapon was out of the hand of the Kumo-nin Naruto's grip slid from the man's throat to his chest and half-pushed, half-pulled the man to the ground at his feet, slamming his back into the hard-packed sand with more force than was needed, or likely was smart considering he wanted information out of him. He heard bones crack from the force of the blow, and the man's breath wooshed out of him, leaving him unconscious and likely in some pain. Naruto stood back up, leaving the Kumo-nin in the slowly settling sand at his feet.

"I'll take him," the Suna-nin said, moving forward. Naruto remained silent as the Suna-nin pulled the unconscious enemy off the ground, shouldering his weight.

"Kankuro," Naruto said, watching the Suna Hunter disappear into the village.

"Yea?"

Naruto turned to the older man, taking in the wild face paint around dark eyes. "He was after me," Naruto said quietly, his voice further muffled by the scarf wrapped around his face. "I need to know who sent them."

"You suspect something?" Kankuro asked, his voice as quiet as Naruto's, pitched low so that it wouldn't carry beyond their own hearing.

"They smelled like Kumo," Naruto said, "But they didn't fight like they were Kumo."

"Why would Kumo Shinobi attack you?" Kankuro asked.

Naruto looked back into the village ahead of him. "Exactly."

"I'll see what I can find," Kankuro said.

Naruto nodded as he reached up and pushed the scarf from his head, letting it pool around his neck. The action bared his face and hair, bled through with red much the same as his left eye. It was tied into a low ponytail, its long length trailing down his back and over the scroll at his waist. It lightened as it went, the tail end of his hair still the bright blonde that he had had as a child, despite the blood-red pigment that his hair now took.

"Gaara's in the tower," the puppet-master said. Naruto let out a breath and nodded, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants. He knew where Gaara was. With the return of Shukaku, Gaara's presence was strong and unique, sending out steady waves of power that lapped against Naruto's senses in a distinct way – like coarse, sandy waves of the desert wind in the cold of the night. The heat in his belly stirred in response to the familiar presence but otherwise remained still.

Naruto glanced at Neji standing next to him. The man had wrapped his injured hand and hidden the kunai away somewhere in his clothing. Naruto could still smell the faint traces of blood, but he knew that the Hyuga was not seriously injured. Neji met his eyes and nodded to let him know he was fine and ready to move. Naruto decided not to say anything about the ANBU uniform he had spotted beneath the other's cloak when he had moved to intercept the attack. He wasn't entirely surprised that Neji was sent with his mask to fetch him. Naruto just wondered where the rest of his team was.

oooOoooOoooOooo

Konohamaru fidgeted under the withering gaze of his teammate. She had taken him by surprise, acting utterly normal to the point that he had thought he had gotten away with it, before she had shoved him so hard into the tree that his body had made an imprint in the bark. He probably shouldn't have tried to sneak up on her in the springs, but he hadn't known she was there. At first.

The slender blonde's face was covered with a ceramic bull mask decorated with a broken square shape in red marks. Her hair was pulled up into a long ponytail that was still wet from her bathing, and she carried an extra belt pouch along with her other standard ANBU gear. Past her hair, she wasn't overly distinctive when wearing the mask and uniform gear, but Konohamaru now had a better idea of what was underneath it, as well as how hard she hit, if she bothered to hit at all. Her mind-tricks were actually more worrying.

"Ah, ha, Oushi-san," he used her code-name, his hands raised in front of him half in a gesture of surrender and half as a protective measure should she try to hit him again. He wasn't convinced that if she did try that she would aim for anything that he would be able to block in time, however, and he couldn't block her clan's mind-takeover technique even if he wanted to.

"You know I didn't mean to, Oushi," he continued, _'though I really didn't mind seeing –'_

"Kono-" she growled, "Kato. I. Will. Kill. You."

Konohamaru gulped. _'Damn, she's slipping on the names, she's really pissed.'_

"It probably isn't a good idea to kill the runt, Oushi," their other teammate said from her position just out of immediate range. She was clearly watching the by-play, and while neither of the two could see the woman's face behind her dog mask, they could hear the glee in her voice. Mitarashi Anko always was a bit too fond of confrontations and psychological torture for Konohamaru to be comfortable. Then again, Ino was worse with the whole psychological torture part.

"Yes I can," Ino said, her voice still laced with dark intent.

"Kaeru-taichou will beat you to a pulp if you do," Anko sing-songed.

Konohamaru couldn't see it, but he knew the other kunoichi was grinning manically. He was really feeling outnumbered without their taichou and second around. One of the women at a time he was mostly used to, as the team tended to have either one or the other on for missions, but the two of them together had flown far past unnerving and straight to down-right horrifying.

"Hitaka won't," Ino ground out.

"Ah, but he wouldn't let you cause Kaeru-taichou likes me and wouldn't like it if you killed me," Konohamaru offered.

Ino twitched. Konohamaru saw it and flinched in return.

"Shut. Up. Brat." Ino said.

"Hey! Just because I'm young doesn't mean you can pick on me because Hitaka told you to stay put!" Konohamaru said, raising up a bit in order to look the woman in the eyes.

Ino growled low in her through and raised her hands in front of her. Konohamaru took a step back and ran into the tree that the blonde had pushed him up against earlier.

"Kid's got a point, blondie," Anko cut in.

Konohamaru nodded, pointing a finger towards the other woman in hopes that Ino would redirect her attention and he could slip away from her.

"Shut up," Ino ground out again, finally turning her head in order to glare at the other woman.

Konohamaru used the minute distraction to replace himself with a log – far away. He still thought he could hear Ino's teeth grinding, but he was pretty sure he was imagining it, as he couldn't even see her anymore.

Konohamaru plopped down in a tree and wiggled a finger under his mask to rub at his chin, scowling at nothing in particular as he forced his mouth not to voice the complaints that wanted to come out of it. Loudly. He had been abandoned to two crazy kunoichi – not that he would ever again call either of the women that to their face – while their second-in-command, their temporary taichou, went to go fetch their real squad commander from the desert.

A rise of chakra on the outskirts of his senses barely warned him in time to dodge the shadow kunai that peppered the tree he had been sitting in. He whipped around to glare at the blonde stalking through the trees to him, another kunai already in her hand.

"Come on, Oushi!" Konohamaru called, "I didn't _mean_ to!"

"You're lying," she growled, "I'm going to skin you."

"Why are you so da –" He was cut off by the kunai that barely missed his ear and thunked solidly into the tree behind him. He heard the wood of the tree crack under the force of the throw, but didn't dare take his eyes off the woman stalking him. She didn't slow down, and was already reaching for another weapon.

"Damnit," Konohamaru cursed, pulling a kunai from his leg holster and jumping back up into the tree branches, wishing that Naruto were around to distract her so he could disappear for a few hours, or days, until her ire had cooled enough that she wouldn't kill him on sight. _'Didn't even get to see anything more than a glimpse, the crazy woman.'_

oooOoooOoooOooo

Naruto found Gaara standing in front of the open windows, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared out over his village. Sand swirled lightly at his feet, barely there.

"Brother," Kankuro said entering the room to stand beside Naruto. Neji took Naruto's other side, both of the tall men short in comparison to the partial red-head. They made for a strange trio, with Neji's lean height and white eyes next to Naruto's fire-touched countenance and Kankuro's broad form.

"Kazekage-sama," Neji said, giving a small bow that bent his head and shoulders. Gaara turned, and finally looked at the three, his mint-colored eyes traveling from Neji to Kankuro and settling on Naruto. Naruto's smile grew slightly and he inclined his head to the side.

Gaara met his eyes briefly then looked to the side, directing Naruto's attention to the edge of the room where a couch stretched along the wall. On its surface sat Temari with a girl curled under a blanket in her lap. The girl's toes peeked out from one end and her wild auburn hair from the other. Naruto felt a small smile stretch on his face as he saw her sleeping, and crossed the room to stand near, just out of reach of the child. Temari smiled at him and looked down at the girl she held, running her fingers through the girl's hair. She shifted and woke at the touch, stretching beneath the blanket that hid most of her face and blinked up at him.

"Naruto-nii?" she asked, tugging at the blanket to reveal the rest of her face. Naruto smiled as he took in the sight of her and the by now familiar markings on her face – two brown stripes that stretched from her hairline, over her eyes and tapered off at the corners of her nose. She was young, though Naruto didn't know her exact birthday, having found her when she was a toddler. She was nearly six.

"Zako-joji," Naruto greeted, smiling as the girl frowned at him.

"Joji! I'm not a baby girl!"

"But you're my baby girl, Zako," Naruto said, his voice devoid of any of the darkness or fury that the fox so often wrought upon his system. Instead it was laced with something warm, warm like a summer breeze..

Zako continued to frown at him as her blue eyes looked him over. They stood out brightly from her face with the brown marks that traveled over them, their blue color deeper than his own, but no less brilliant. "You're late!"

Naruto blinked. "Late?" _'Late for what?'_

"Gaara-san said you'd be here!"

Naruto glanced towards the Kazekage before returning his eye to the girl, understanding suddenly what she was talking about. He had no doubt that the Kage in Konoha had sent a missive to Gaara at the same time as he summoned Naruto with the bird – days ago. "Sorry," he said.

Zako didn't look terribly convinced, but she shuffled off Temari's lap and grabbed his hand just the same. Naruto wrapped his much larger hand around her own, feeling like he dwarfed the small girl with his size. Her head didn't even make it to his waist, and his hand seemed to swallow her own as he held it carefully.

"She's a sweet one," Temari smirked, getting to her feet. "We had fun, didn't we, Zako-chan?"

Zako nodded, smiling brightly at the blonde woman, before turning her grin to Naruto. "She taught me how to throw kunai!"

"Kunai?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow at Temari. The woman shrugged, looking a little sheepish, before reaching out and ruffling Zako's hair.

"Aa, teaching her early," Temari said, grinning.

"She's five," Kankuro said.

"Hey, I was only four the first time I got one!" Temari countered.

Naruto chuckled and crouched down low, putting his face level with Zako's. "Ne, Zako-joji," he said, catching her eyes, "Did Temari tell you how to care for kunai?"

Zako nodded and Naruto smiled, holding up his hand and waving it in front of her face. Zako watched as he waved his fingers, and Naruto's smile widened as he flipped a kunai out of his sleeve, making her eyes light up. He twirled it for a moment on one of his fingers before palming the blade and holding the handle out to her. Zako took it carefully, gripping the handle in her small hands with an accurate, if tentative hold. Naruto nodded, and the girl grinned widely at him.

"It's sharp," Naruto said, pressing his finger against the blade hard enough to draw a sliver of blood. Zako nodded, holding it carefully and watching with slight concern as Naruto stuck his finger in his mouth. He licked the blood from his finger – the coppery tang on his tongue pulling a flicker of heat from the fox – and pulled it back out, showing off the healed skin. She offered him a smile and returned her attention to the kunai in her hand.

"Is that a good idea?" Kankuro asked. Naruto glanced over at the man, noting a mixing of concern and amusement under his face paint.

"I think five years old is a good age to get your first kunai," Naruto commented, watching as Zako inspected the weapon. "I was younger, too," he said.

"Nothing wrong with a girl starting young," Temari said.

"Remind me to keep you away from my kids," Kankuro grumbled, ignoring the glare his comment got out of his sister. "You're a bad influence. Both of you."

"A bad influence!" Temari countered. "You've just gone soft!"

Naruto crouched down as they continued to bicker, slipping his hand from Zako's, and wrapped his arm around her. She reacted automatically, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as he picked her up. Naruto watched the top of her head, her chin resting on his shoulder as he held her to him with one arm, her small form easy for him to hold on to. He could hear her still fingering the kunai behind his head. He caught Neji's eyes long enough to catch the man's bemusement at the scene, and Naruto shook his head at the Hyuga.

"Naruto," Gaara said, also ignoring his siblings. "Your Kage has requested that I send you to Konoha."

Naruto sighed, and looked back towards his red-haired friend. "I know."

Gaara nodded and looked at Kankuro. "Naruto is leaving in the morning."

Naruto glanced at the painted face of Kankuro as the other man nodded and turned to leave. Temari followed after him, scowling as they left. Naruto didn't watch them leave, hearing the door click shut behind them and feeling the presence of their chakras fade as they walked away. Neji moved silently to the side of the room, leaning his tall frame against the wall. Naruto glanced at him to see the man with his arms crossed loosely over his chest, his grey eyes closed.

"How are you?" Gaara asked, the man's eyes alternating between Naruto's and the girl in his arms. Naruto could feel Zako's even, light breathing and knew that she was close to sleep again.

Naruto shrugged one shoulder and crossed the room to stand next to his friend. Gaara's slight frame was nearly dwarfed by his own, the smaller red-head barely as tall as his shoulders, but Naruto felt the unique form of comfort that he only ever felt around Gaara, and it was augmented by the comfort he had whenever he was near Zako – whenever she wrapped her small arms around him, uncaring who or what he was. With the shared status as Jinchuriki, Naruto felt the connection that linked him and Gaara as two people who had lived parallel lives – someone who had understood him on a deep level without the need to speak or explain. And as Naruto continued to bare the burden of being a Jinchuriki, he knew that Gaara was always there to help him carry it.

"He's quiet today," Naruto said softly, knowing what his friend was really asking; _'how is the Kyubi?'_

Gaara turned cool mint eyes to him, watching him intently. Naruto didn't meet the gaze, instead he let the chakra in him answer, feeling only the sensation of a spring breeze floating along his skin – the coolness of his own chakra, untainted by the burning heat of the Kyubi's. It left his skin feeling cooled rather than hot, though still warmer than the coarse cold of Gaara's presence near him. Naruto knew that Gaara would be able to sense the difference.

"Good," Gaara said, turning his gaze back to the window.

They were silent then, as they stared out the window to the village laid out below them, both taking comfort in the other's closeness and friendship. It was a friendship that had never needed words or acknowledgment. It was based on the deep, unspoken understanding between them.

Naruto watched the light of the sun begin to change from gold to red to violet. A chill wind blew through the ajar window and Naruto inhaled the scents that it carried, smelling the collection of scents that were unique to Suna and stronger, the scent of Gaara and his cold sand beside him and the subtle smell of warm, damp earth that was Zako in his arms.

"I'll be in Konoha for a while," Naruto said, his soft voice cutting through their silence.

"I figured."

"The border has been quiet lately," Naruto said, "but once its known I'm back in Konoha…"

"I'll extend the patrols."

Naruto remained silent, having nothing more really to say. It was by Gaara's good will alone that allowed Naruto to hide himself in the southern wilds of Wind country, out in the hard packed sands that saw so little life. He served as a border guard while he was in Wind, and used the area for a base between missions issued from Konoha. He would miss it, he knew, even though at times he craved for Konoha's humid air and shaded forests – for the village that he loved and cherished and despised and would protect with his life.

"You are always welcome here." Gaara said, answering the one question that Naruto would never have asked. _'Can I come back again?'_

Naruto smiled and closed his eyes, letting the wind ruffle his hair and slide across his face. He would miss the winds of Suna, the wide clear spaces of land that carried air and sand and smell over vast distances.

oooOoooOoooOooo

The sun traveled low in the sky and the hour of twilight before dusk found Naruto sitting atop the sandy walls surrounding Suna, his legs hanging over the ledge. Gaara sat next to him, his gourd propped against the rock behind him, next to Naruto's scroll. A bottle of spiced sake sat between them. The steep height of the cliffs encircled the village in a protective fold, making entering and exiting the hidden village difficult for some, near impossible for most. Gaara's exceptional control of his sand made scaling the cliff walls easy, and gave the two a secluded perch away from the hovering of his guards and any interruptions his ninjas may try. It perched them high above the village, letting them watch as the desert dusk threw colors across the landscape, turning the sky violet and the sands green.

The wind blew through his reddening hair, whipping his bangs into his eyes, carrying distant scents of the desert and the village with it. Naruto breathed it in, having long ago associated the smell of Suna with safety and companionship. He wasn't sure how long it would be before he was able to return. He still didn't know what the Hokage wanted, or why he was summoned back to Konoha.

"Did the Hokage give a reason?" Naruto asked, turning slightly to look at his friend from the corner of his eyes.

"No."

Naruto hummed in response, having expected the answer.

"I did not get the impression that it was an emergency," Gaara said.

"No, she would have contacted me differently if it was."

"Yes."

"Yet she's being very insistent," Naruto said quietly, a soft growl emitting from the back of his throat. It was not very common for the Hokage to summon him back to the village. Naruto received his missions via scrolls and messengers, and returned his reports in the same manner. There were occasions that required his presence in the village of his childhood, and he returned there gladly, but it unnerved him when his presence was being asked for specifically.

"How long has it been?" Gaara asked.

Naruto rolled one shoulder in a shrug as he thought. "Three months."

"Since you yielded your position?"

Naruto remained silent. His answer to Gaara's second question would involve a much higher number than the three months since the last time he'd been in Konoha and they both knew it.

"Perhaps its time to return," Gaara said after a moment of silence.

Naruto didn't respond, not agreeing nor arguing his point. Naruto missed Konoha, it was his home, the village that he would give his life to protect, even now.

But it was safer in Suna.

"Yes," Naruto conceded, picking up the sake bottle but not drinking. He tipped it from side to side, hearing the slosh of the liquid within it, half empty from their drinking. He could already feel the warmth of the alcohol in his system, the slight fuzzy feeling in the back of his brain. The sake's taste lingered on his tongue, semi-sweet and spicy. He sat it back down without taking a drink.

"I just wish I knew what she wanted," Naruto said.

"You'll find out when you get there," Gaara said, taking the bottle from him. Naruto watched his friend tip his head back and swallow the sake. Gaara met his eyes for a moment and held the bottle out to him. Naruo let out a quiet breath and took it, eyeing the clay bottle before bringing it up to his lips and closing his eyes. The sake slid across his tongue and down his throat, a subtle burn of sweet flavor and warm alcohol. Spice trailed after the sweet, lingering on the edges of his tongue. Desert spice, like cinnamon and cardamom. It settled into his stomach warmly and rushed heat through his system – a different sort of heat than the Kyubi's dark fire. Naruto felt its effects as if from a distance, his body already breaking down the alcohol and preventing any more of an intoxication past the slight buzz in his mind and the warmth in his veins.

"It's not like you to worry," Gaara said as Naruto sat the sake bottle down between them.

"I know."

Gaara picked up the bottle, but kept his eyes on his friend. Naruto glanced to him, meeting the mint-green of his eyes. The setting sun reflected gold hues that revealed a rarely seen depth of color in the usually flat green eyes.

"Why are you?" Gaara asked.

Naruto sighed and leaned back on his forearms. "I'm not sure."

"Yes you are."

Naruto scowled slightly but nodded, turning his gaze back to the steadily darkening sky and the village below them. He did know why he was worrying, and he knew that Gaara already knew the answer. Gaara didn't pressure him to speak it out loud, and for that Naruto was grateful. So long as Naruto accepted it in his own head, his friend would drop the topic. They sat through the remainder of the night above the village, sharing the sake between them and speaking of little things.

Naruto and Neji left at dawn, running across the desert sands in an easy, steady measure. Zako's limbs were wrapped around him, her face tucked into the crook of his neck and her body settled on top of the scroll he carried, leaving his arms free for balance over the shifting sands. Naruto calculated the distance and their pace, taking into account the time they would need for rest and concluded that they would reach Konohagakure by the third day. They were silent throughout their journey and Naruto pondered on the need that the Hokage had for calling him back to the village.

oooOoooOoooOooo

They were just outside the border of Fire Country when they stopped at dusk on the second day. Naruto crouched before their small fire, poking a stick into the coals as he watched Zako sleep through his one open eye. She was curled up amongst the big roots of a tree, her auburn hair and dark clothing blending into the shadows. The marks on her face further aided her camouflage, leaving her barely visible in the dim light.

The heat of the fire flickered on his face, hotter than the warm, moist air of the forest of Fire Country. It was a change from the dry heat of the desert that he was used to. The forest closed around him, stopping the wind and trapping the heat and moisture beneath the canopy, filling the air with long lingering scents. He almost felt like a foreigner after so long in the dryness of Wind Country, but there was a larger part of him that was deeply glad to be home. Naruto heard the soft sound of Neji's movement in the trees above him – a sound so faint he knew that few else would have heard it. The Hyuga was hidden amongst the foliage of the high branches, no doubt awake with his Byakugan active, searching the surrounding area while they were stopped.

Naruto smelled them coming about the same time Neji saw them with his Byakugan. The quiet, tap-tap-tap-tap, of Neji's finger drumming on the tree he was perched in carried to Naruto's sensitive ears easily, letting him know that Neji had spotted their approaching company.

It was only a second later that Naruto recognized the scent and placed it. It was the watcher from Suna's wilderness; the other Kumo-nin that had not fought and kept his distance while Naruto and Neji dealt with the team of four. Following his scent came others.

Of the three of them, Naruto was the most visible. He was crouched in front of their small fire, his long, yellow-red hair and orange happi coat reflecting the flames, making him easily spotted in the forest despite the darkening shadows of dusk. He preferred it that way – with him as the first visible target. Neji did not.

Naruto poked the coals of the fire with his stick, digging the thin branch into the red coals four times, stirring flickers of flame and a shower of sparks that rose into the branches and leaves above him.

Four ninja approaching. Both Naruto and Neji sensed the same number of enemies. Naruto could smell them now easily, wind-whipped and wet with a hint of a storm, and old blood clinging to them. He was sure that Neji was watching them as carefully as Naruto tracked their scents. The four moved quietly, and in formation, slipping through the trees with the ease and silence of well-trained ninja. Heat curled slowly in his belly in response to the approaching threat and Naruto's frown deepened at the fox's stirring.

They offered him very little opportunity to defend himself, which Naruto thought to be rash of them, considering Neji was still hidden out of sight in the trees. A cover of smoke rushed through the small clearing, with unnatural speed, hiding a rain of near-silent shuriken within it. It smothered the fire and burned both his eyes and nose as he reacted silently. The sound of metal hitting metal rang through the clearing, the sound muffled by the thickness of the smoke. His motions were hidden by their own cover, but clear as day to the Hyuga's eyes.

The smoke didn't clear, but it thinned enough to see short distances. The trees at the edge of the clearing were barely distinct shadows. The fire was puffing its own smoke, adding to the cover. Naruto stood where he had been crouched, his hair rippling slightly in the breeze. Shuriken littered the ground around him, stopping within a pace of him in a perfect circle, leaving him completely unharmed and mildly amused. He sniffed, the sound more disdainful than anything else, and swiped a hand lazily over the front of his coat as if he were wiping away unwanted dirt, he flicked the length of his ponytail back over his shoulder. A second later he glanced up, focusing on a spot past the first line of trees where the smoke was still thick. A muffled thump sounded into the clearing, and Naruto smirked.

"One down in the shadows of the oak tree," he said softly, still staring at the spot he knew a clone had silently slit the throat of one of the Kumo-nin. He slowly turned his head to the left, the smirk still in place, and focused again onto a spot that he could sense but not see. A second body fell, the sound of fabric sliding against the rough bark of the trees telling.

"Two," Naruto whispered, sliding his hands into the pockets of his pants. He let his head roll back slightly, his gaze sliding to the branches above him and whispered again, "three."

A startled gasp echoed in the clearing and was cut off abruptly. A second later something heavy crashed through the branches and fell into an undignified heap a couple paces to his right. The force of the free-fall made the smoke swirl around the body and it crunched a bit when it landed at an awkward angle. Naruto watched it fall lazily, letting his eye linger on the form of the dead ninja crumpled on the ground. There were no clear markers on him, no hitai-ate or distinctive flak vest that would tell him where they were from.

The body melted as he watched, turning brown and seeping like wet mud into the grass and dirt. Naruto narrowed his eye at the fading clone, annoyed.

A clash of metal on metal drew his gaze away from the melting body at his feet and he looked in the direction of the noise. He could sense the flare of unfamiliar chakra that marked the location of an enemy ninja, and the thread of familiarity that told him one of his clones was matching skills against him. He could not sense the last one.

Naruto inhaled deeply, slowly, picking out individual scents and discarding most of them as natural to the forest. The smoke hampered him, contaminating things, but he could smell through it still, though he could not pinpoint directions. He could sense more than smell Neji in the trees still above him. He could smell his clones, all scenting strongly of the smokey heat of the fox's chakra laced through them all, one touched by the mud-earth scent that was Zako. It was the same chakra that made Neji unable to distinguish which was the real Naruto amongst the clones.

Naruto hummed softly, a low continuous tone as his gaze swept around the smoke-filled clearing. He hadn't moved from his laid-back stance by the fire, his hands still in his pockets even as he heard the tell-tale sound of a clone dissipating, and the short duel fall silent. He made no move or indication that the clone's memories affected him. The clearing descended into unnatural silence, the smoke having chased away most forest life, and the flares of chakra scaring away the rest. Only Naruto's breathless hum sounded into the lingering smoke.

"Two nin lying in the leaves," Naruto hummed, his eye still circling the half of the clearing in front of him. "Two more think they are unseen…" he trailed off quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, but it carried easily in the stillness and the smoke.

"Must you try to make all of the Five countries think you to be insane?" Neji asked. The Hyuga dropped from the branches, landing in a crouch just behind him. Naruto could hear both exasperation and amusement in the man's voice and he craned his head around to look at him over his shoulder. Neji stood only slightly less nonchalantly as Naruto, though the Hyuga managed to make himself still appear completely aloof and unruffled. He had discarded his cloak, revealing the monochrome coloring of his ANBU gear. The man's white mask was shaped something like a bird's, its beak turned down sharply, marking it as a bird of prey. A circular ray of lines stretched over its surface from the center of the forehead, imitating a sun icon.

"It's funner that way," Naruto said, his voice loud.

"Aa," Neji sounded, his grey eyes looking past Naruto. With the man's closeness, barely two arm widths away, Naruto could see the barely-there iris of his eyes behind his mask as they tracked some movement in the trees.

A soft sound made Naruto move, shifting his stance to the side and taking barely half a step as he turned his head forward again. Three kunai shot out of the smoke and lodged solidly into his chest. They thudded home with a somewhat sickening sound, all three sunk deep. A trickle of blood trailed from one, starting a chain reaction that had the entire body melting.

"I hate it when you do that," Neji mumbled as the Naruto clone melted into the mud just as the other had.

"Why do you think I do it?" Naruto asked, his voice echoing across the clearing, his amusement obvious.

"Obviously just to aggravate me," Neji said, looking towards one of the random clones hidden in the area. It wasn't the one who had spoken, but Neji rarely made a distinction between them. In the end, they all had the same memories.

Naruto chuckled, the sound coming from more than one source. Naruto grinned, unseen, or at least undistinguishable from the other two-dozen clones that were scattered in a thirty-yard radius around the clearing. He knew that Neji could see most if not all of them with the Byakugan, but finding the real Naruto among them was about impossible, even for the Hyuga.

"I wasn't given my rank for nothing, you know," Naruto commented absently. When Neji didn't respond he continued, speaking from a different clone that was perched on the opposite side of the clearing. "It is sometimes fun to remind you."

"I," Neji said evenly, "haven't forgotten." He seemed unperturbed at the prospect of having a conversation with a small clone army. The Hyuga was standing mostly still, not having moved since he dropped from the trees. He didn't need to. His eyes could see nearly the full circumference around him, and far further than anyone else, considering he was surrounded by a smoke-infested forest.

Naruto hummed again, the sound echoing from multiple half-hidden clones, filling the clearing with the low thrum of his voice.

"Can't you guys shut up?" A voice rang out, angry and annoyed. The humming stopped abruptly.

"Sure," Naruto chirped, his voice sounding from the same spot. A sharp gasp rang out, followed by a gurgled choke and the thud of a body hitting the ground. The two Konoha-nin remained silent, waiting for the sound of sliding mud or dirt that signaled a clone. None came.

"And then there was one," Neji said without tone or inflection.

Some of the Naruto clones barked out a laugh, amused by the other man's participation in his game of intimidation.

"They smell like Kumo," Naruto said, sliding out of the smoke to stand near the fire again. "Even if they don't have the hitai-ate. They smell like a storm in the mountains, thin air and heated clouds."

Neji glanced at him. "Mud-clones are a Kumogakure technique."

"Which begs the question," a rough voice called from the smoke, "how do you know the technique, Jinchuriki?"

Nartuo shrugged one shoulder, looking in the general direction the voice had come from, though he doubted the other nin would still be there. He could only catch a sense of the man on occasion, slipping from place to place, circling them randomly. He hadn't been able to get a fix on his chakra or scent since the smoke rolled into the area, and Naruto was growing increasingly intrigued and irritated. The man had already taken out five of his clones, barely making any noise, all the while his teammates were being slowly picked off.

"I picked it up from somewhere," Naruto said.

The Kumo-nin didn't verbally respond, but Naruto felt the feedback of memories from another clone. He glanced in the direction that the clone had dissipated, but couldn't sense the other's presence there, nor could he smell him.

Naruto inhaled deeply and slowly, closing his eye as he smelled the forest around him. He picked up the nin's scent briefly, before it seemed to swirl and disappear again, leaving no trail or direction behind for Naruto to follow. Naruto felt a soundless growl in the back of his throat, and the fox's heat swirled sharply in his stomach at his agitation. He let the air out of his lungs in a rush and opened both his eyes.

"It would be helpful if you would stand still," Naruto said, hearing the darkness of the fox roughen his voice.

"Unlikely," the Kumo-nin's voice shot back at him.

"Why is it always the Kumo ninjas that annoy the shit out of me?" Naruto asked, glaring around the smoke-filled clearing.

"Must be something about their temperament," Neji commented.

"I was going to guess that their Raikage was to blame," Naruto said, turning so that his back was to Neji, and the fire was in between them. The warmth of the fire heated the back of his legs, but he barely noticed it above the rush of heated fury that pulsed through his chakra system from the fox.

"He hasn't been Raikage long enough to blame," Neji said.

"Saburo was right," the Kumo-nin said from out of the smoke, "You two don't shut up."

"If I'm going to be annoyed," Naruto said from his spot by the fire.

"So are you," he finished, dropping out the trees to land behind the Kumo-nin. He wrapped one arm around the man's throat, blocked a kunai thrust to his gut with the other by gripping his wrist and twisted it sharply. The crack of the man's bones echoed slightly in the forest, followed by a short, pained grunt. Naruto dropped the arm and palmed the back of the man's head, slamming it into a nearby tree. The tree cracked and splintered under the force of the blow, and the man crumpled at the base. Naruto stared down at him, frowning as the body melted into mud and seeped into the ground.

"I'm not as easy as the others," the Kumo-nin said, his voice coming from out of the forest in a direction Naruto couldn't pinpoint.

"They weren't easy, they were pathetic," Naruto grumbled.

"It was foolish to send a handful of Chunin against someone of our level," Neji said. "Or were they supposed to be Jonin?"

"I'd say Chunin," Naruto said, "If they were Jonin I think I'd be insulted."

"I'm already insulted," Neji said darkly.

"If this one would just stand still for longer than five seconds, we could be done with this mess," Naruto said from his side. Neji glanced at him, then away again, the man's grey eyes circling the area around them.

"Can you track him?" Naruto asked.

Neji didn't verbally respond, instead making a quick series of gestures with his hand. Naruto recognized the code immediately, and what it meant. Neji couldn't track the guy any better than Naruto could, but Neji had spotted three others coming into range. Naruto pulled in air through his nose and recognized the distant scents through the smoke. Naruto replied in kind, making a sign with one hand. Neji gave a short nod and jumped into the branches above their heads.

There was a sharp clash of metal and flare of chakra, and another of his clones dissipated. Naruto sucked in a sharp breath, fire surging through his veins, and spun in time to see the man slide out of the mist. The Kumo-nin blended into the smoke and shadows, his clothing and hair various shades of grey. His face was wrapped with gauze to the point that only his eyes remained uncovered.

He had one arm wrapped around Zako's neck, nearly lifting the small girl off her feet as she scrabbled to get a grip on his arm.

Naruto growled darkly, letting the fox's chakra flare slightly through his skin for a moment before he reigned it back in. "You're mine, Kumo-nin," Naruto ground out.

"Am I?" He pulled his arm upward, lifting Zako off her feet and holding her against his side. She choked in a breath, clearly struggling to breath, and the heat in Naruto's veins turned into an inferno. Her dark blue eyes met his briefly, before they clenched shut.

Then she melted.

Her body stretched and sagged, like thick molasses, seeping out of the Kumo-nin's hold to fold over on itself at his feet. The Kumo-nin struggled, his eyes wide as he lost all purchase on her.

Naruto moved swiftly, closing the distance between them and stepping between the man and Zako just as he swiped at her with a kunai. The blade slashed across his stomach and cut deep, making Naruto hiss in pain. Heat flared, spiraling out from his middle and burning his skin, and red chakra crackled along his arms. He swung and his fist connected solidly with the man's face, whipping his head back with a crack and sending him flying through the air.

The Kumo-nin rolled and got to his feet as Naruto closed the distance again. One side of the man's face was red and blistered from the Kyubi's chakra. The man threw shuriken that Naruto ignored. Two of them lodged into his chest and shoulder and Naruto swung with his fists. The Kumo-nin dodged the first and blocked the second, but Naruto got him with his knee, digging it deep into his gut and making the man keel over.

The man suddenly jerked and stiffened, his eyes going wide, before stepping backward and settling into a strange stance. He cocked his hips to the side and perched one hand on his hip, grinning widely and looking around the area.

Naruto sighed, and took a couple steps away, recognizing the pose, even if seeing it on the Kumo-nin was a bit unnerving and very much out of place. He forcibly reigned in the fox, watching as the chakra faded and retreated, still boiling under his skin in steady rushes of heat.

"Heya, Naruto!" the Kumo-nin chirped, the words sounding very strange coming from his mouth and voice.

"Hi Oushi," Naruto returned, wrapping one arm around Zako when the girl sidled up to him. She was no longer fluid, and had returned to a solid form. He looked over her carefully, catching a scratch on her cheek, but otherwise looking unharmed. The shallow scratch was already healing as he watched. She was glaring at the Kumo-nin who had caught her, though on her young face it looked more like a pout than a glare. Her closeness settled some of his own agitation, and he let out a long breath, feeling more of the heated fury of the fox dim as he regained control.

Another figure suddenly burst from the brush behind the Ino-taken-over-Kumo-nin, wielding a tall staff. The figure was dressed in ANBU gear with a red-striped frog mask and spikes of brown hair peaking out in wild disarray above it. A blue scarf wrapped around his neck and trailing after him made him stand out from a typical ANBU, though Naruto would know him in just about any guise. He swung his staff in a wide arc and brought it down hard on the Kumo-nin's head. The man crumpled immediately.

"Damnit Konohamaru!" Ino's voice echoed through the trees, "I'm going to kill you!"

The figure with the staff flinched and curled in on himself a bit, looking back in the direction of the woman's voice. Naruto could practically smell the boy's nervousness tinged with fear.

"Oops," Konohamaru mumbled.

"Haha! Kid, you're in for it now," Anko's voice called with glee. Naruto shook his head in amusement at them. He couldn't see the two women directly, but he could smell and sense them now, easily within calling distance, considering both of their lungs. No doubt Ino had a pounding headache and was suffering a bad case of dizziness from her clan's technique being cut short, not to mention getting whacked on the head.

"You should be able to remember that, Kato," Neji said, dropping from the trees to land next to the boy. Neji's eyes tracked over Naruto, lingering on the shuriken still stuck in his body and the gash across his middle. The Hyuga's Byakugan was still activated, and Naruto knew that the other man would easily see the visage of the fox flickering in him. The Kyubi's heated fury and chakra was still roiling under his skin, making it difficult to calm himself down after the fight.

"Aa, I know, I know," Konohamaru mumbled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"He sent all of you then," Naruto commented, eyeing them, and ignoring Neji's narrowed look.

Konohamaru chirped out a bright, "Yup!"

Naruto sighed and inspected the shuriken that were still lodged in his body. He frowned and pulled them out with swift motions, grimacing as a fresh wave of pain washed through him. The heat rolled and flowed under his skin, like fire burning through his chakra coils, and his wounds hissed in response to the rapid healing, sending tendrils of steam up as his blood was boiled out of the wounds.

Neji raised an eyebrow at the display. "They were poisoned?"

"Aa," Naruto said, running his fingers over the tender new skin beneath his clothes. He hadn't felt the effects of the poison that the Kumo-nin's blades had been coated in, but if the fox had bothered to boil his skin to the point of it evaporating, it was usually a tell-tale sign that there had been poison present in the wounds. The kunai that had been lodged in his shoulder in the desert from the other group of Kumo ninjas had also been poisoned. Naruto remembered the extra heat and chakra that had rushed the area when he had removed the blade.

Naruto looked at Zako, "Are you cut?"

She shook her head, and Naruto looked over at Neji, who repeated her action.

"Good," Naruto said, relieved that neither of them had gotten the poison into their systems. "Kyouken, Oushi!" Naruto called the girls, using their ANBU codenames if only because they were in uniform. The two entered the clearing and stood near Neji, Ino clearly glaring at Konohamaru from behind her mask while the boy kept Naruto in between himself and irate kunoichi. Naruto was a bit surprised at Ino's high agitation, her annoyance was thick enough for him to taste. Being knocked on the head while in control of an enemy ninja wasn't usually enough to get the blonde so murderous, though seeing either of the women pissed off at one of the three guys was quite common.

"Do I want to know what you did to piss her off?" Naruto asked Konohamaru, looking at him curiously. The boy shook his head a bit frantically, clearly keeping one wary eye on the blonde who was radiating enough agitation to put Naruto on edge.

"The little brat," Ino started, "can I kill him?"

"No," Neji and Naruto said at the same time.

"I told you they wouldn't let you," Anko said, making the blonde growl in response. Both of the men ignored the woman's grumbled, "but they haven't told me I can't skin him yet." Naruto wondered if he should be worried for Konohamaru's future health. Apparently he had really done something to tick Ino off, or many somethings.

Naruto looked between the three of them, amused at their by-play. His team didn't often have both girls on it at the same time, usually alternating their positions. On the few occasions that both Ino and Anko were on the team together, it was usually Konohamaru that was then not. ANBU squads, like most other teams of ninja, consisted of four, though unlike most other teams, the ANBU had a fifth, sixth or sometimes even seventh member that would allow for a rotation of schedules and skills. Naruto wondered how the squad had been getting along while he was out in the desert. He hadn't worked with them in months, doing a handful of single missions that were sent to him via messenger so he could avoid the villages.

"Let's get back to Konoha, then," Naruto said.

He got a chorus of "Hai!" in return, and after sealing the unconscious Kumo-nin in a scroll, they all took to the trees. Naruto had Zako on his back, the girl's arms and legs wrapped around him loosely as she dozed, part of her weight settled onto the scroll across his back. Naruto traveled with the team in silence until they were well into Fire Country's border and enveloped in the sounds and scents of the forest's night. The team then began to catch up, talking in a mixture of words and hand signs as they traveled from tree to tree. Naruto found himself relaxing in their presence, happy to be near them all again. He had missed them.

oooOoooOoooOooo

**Author's Notes:** Hmm. Introductions. And mysteries. Fun. Ah, here's some of that pesky Japanese I keep using…

Joji – means 'baby girl' and isn't typically used as an honorific, but Naruto is like that with nicknames.

Taichou – commanding officer. It is more of a position in relation to others, rather than a titled rank.

Aa – that agreeable sound made sometimes in response to a question posed. Generally means "yes"

Happi – a traditional straight-sleeved coat. Usually indigo or brown with a crest on the back.

**A/N:** It's really interesting to write Naruto in this way, so sense-driven. He seems like a visceral type of person, one who would put much stock in what he sees/hears/smells/feels (instincts and physical senses) rather than logic or mental processes. So rather than focusing the story on his hair-brained tactics, and borderline annoying actions and words, I'm letting his senses drive it forward some. It makes for a different type of story.


End file.
